Finder's Keepers
by Loyal Eskamoe
Summary: Buffy and Willow are hurt.  It's a good thing there's a Doctor to help them.
1. Medicine and the Doctor

This is the third in a series. It's not too necessary to have read the previous stories, but it would help. The first story is entitled, "Buffy in Boston" followed by "The Compass of Erised". Thanks, and enjoy! - 

"Verlassen Sie eine Methode oder wir brennen Sie auch!" A harsh voice, tinged with fear.

"Doctor?" A woman, nervous.

"It'll be alright Martha, don't you worry," a man said confidently. He sounded like Giles. "So, what makes you think those three are witches?" He asked conversationally.

A fourth voice shouted out. "Betrachten Sie ihre Kleidung! Nur Hexen würden Tracht wie die tragen!" Was that German?

The crowd cheered in angry agreement.

The Giles sounding guy laughed. "That doesn't make them witches! They're a traveling troupe. The clothes they wear are costumes, that's all."

"Sie fielen vom Himmel!" Someone in the crowd roared.

"Right. You lot did have to see that. And I suppose there's no real way to explain falling from the sky, is there? We should run."

"But what about all the stuff lying around?" The woman asked. She was English too.

"We can't worry about that now! RUN!" He yelled.

The rocking began, and only then did Buffy realize someone was carrying her. She struggled weakly, but stopped when she heard a familiar voice.

"It's okay Buffy," Xander panted, holding her tighter. "I've got you."

-

A phone booth. That was where the crazy English man brought them.

"We're so gonna die," Xander lamented, glancing back at the distant, but not too distant, mob chasing them.

"No we're not," the afore mentioned English man reassured. "Martha, would you be a dear and fetch my key out of my pocket?" He shifted the still bleeding Willow around gently, exposing the right pocket of his trench coat.

Martha reached into it, putting her putting her entire arm in there. Xander's mind was officially blown. The woman pulled out a strange looking key and used it to open the phone booth. She and the guy rushed in.

"C'mon!" The woman, Martha, beckoned.

Xander one look at the oncoming mob. "Sure, what the hell," he muttered before running in after them. Once inside, Martha closed the door, and Xander looked around. Inside the phone booth. The bigger on the inside than it was on the outside phone booth.

It was a circular room, with a big center console the other guy was currently using. He hit it with a hammer that was chained to it, before reaching under the console and making pumping motions. Then it started making a weird vworping sound.

"You can set your friend down there." Martha gestured to a seat looking thing while checking over Willow. Xander gently lay Buffy down on it. While they were running, she started to come around, but quickly passed out again. "Now pick her up and come with me," she commanded, referring to Willow. Xander did as he was told.

"Where are we?" he asked, following her out of the circular room. He didn't want to leave Buffy alone with that guy, but seeing as how Willow was bleeding to death and this Martha lady seemed to know what she was talking about, there didn't appear to be much of a choice.

"The TARDIS."

"Oh that's helpful, thanks."

Martha strode into what looked like some kind of sickbay. Xander flooded with relief.

"Put her on that table there." Martha instructed. Once he did, She began to do a more thorough examination.

"How is she?" Xander asked after a few minutes.

"How long ago was she shot?"

"Uh, twenty minutes ago?"

"Were you the one to dress her wound?" Xander nodded. "Well, you just might've saved her life. Oh, hang on. What the hell?" she exclaimed once the makeshift bandages were off.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I... I don't know. There's some kind of..." She looked up at him. "Go tell the Doctor where you're from."

"Why?" He questioned thickly.

Martha rolled her eyes impatiently. "Your girl here needs more help than I can give. Go!"

Xander ran back to the circle room.

"Martha needs your help!" He said frantically.

The doctor guy stopped messing around with the center console. "What? What's wrong?"

"She needs your help with Willow!"

"Really? She said that?" He seemed surprised. "That's funny." The strange man commented, then left. Meanwhile, Xander went to check up on Buffy. She was still out cold. He sighed, brushing an errant lock from her face. The guy came back, wearing a stunned expression. "I never realized Martha even knew words like that." He said faintly.

Xander stood up. "Did you help her?"

The guy turned to him, still in shock. "Hmm?"

"Martha? Did you help her?"

The man cleared his head. "Oh, no. I walked in there just as she was getting Willow's shirt off. By accident I assure you!" He added hastily before chuckling. "Oh the mouth on that girl. Martha, not Willow. I don't know if she has a mouth. Doesn't look it though. But then neither did Martha."

Xander just looked at him. "So you didn't help her?" He asked after a few seconds. This guy could give Will a run for her money in babbling.

The guy waved the question off. "Naw, she didn't need my help. Though I'm supposed to get you lot off to a hospital." He walked over to the center console. "So, when are you from?" He asked casually.

"What?"

He rolled his eyes. "What year is it?"

"2007" Xander replied automatically.

The guy nodded, then reached out to the console, stopping when he saw Willow's blood on his hand. He closed his eyes sadly, took a deep breath before opening them again, and began working the controls with a renewed vigor.

"She's hurt bad, your friend. I doubt the doctors from your time can save her. Heck, they won't even know what's wrong with her!" The man paused and stared at Xander with an almost frightening intensity." So we'll just have to go somewhere else!"

Xander swallowed nervously. "Who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor, and I will not let your friend die!" With that, he pushed a button on his console, causing the whole thing to come to life with flashes, and beeps, and that weird vworping sound. The Doctor ran out of the room. "C'mon Xander! Get your girl up and let's go! Martha!" He stormed into sickbay, covering his eyes. "Can she be moved?"

As it turns out, the question was moot. The Doctor picked her up without wait for the answer. (After covering her chest with a blanket first, of course.)

"Where are you taking her?" Martha demanded. The Doctor declined to answer, he just rushed out of the sickbay. Martha followed him. "Doctor! If I don't stabilize her, she'll die!"

"She'll die anyway. There's nothing you can do for her," he told her confidently while striding purposefully past Xander, who had Buffy in his arms, and towards the TARDIS's door.

Xander nearly dropped his friend. "WHAT!"

The Doctor stopped in front of the doors. "Martha? The door?" She opened them and he hurried out. Xander and Martha hot on his heels.

"You said you wouldn't let her die!" Xander shouted, stopping.

The Doctor whirled around, a furious look on his face. "This planet has the best physicians in the history of the entire universe. If anybody can save this woman, it's them. So keep moving!" He resumed his course without waiting for a response.

Xander looked to Martha, who shrugged. "I've never been here," she said before following, "But if the Doctor says these guys are the best, then I believe him."

"What exactly did you mean by, "this planet"?" Xander asked, catching up to them. "And what happened to Germany?"

"The TARDIS is a time machine," The Doctor told him. We're in the year 6531, and this is Hippocratica, an entire world dedicated to healing."

Martha slowed down in amazement. "Really?" She hurried to match The Doctor's long stride.

"Oh yeah," he assured. "Like I said, best in the universe. Might even be able to do something about the blonde girl's chronic illness."

"Her name's Buffy, and she doesn't have any chronic illnesses!"

"I don't mean a recurring illness. Traveling through time without protection is obscenely damaging. She's lucky she's not dead! Willow too." The Doctor glanced back at Xander over his shoulder. "Her name's Buffy? Really?" He considered it for a moment. "Y'know, that was the Queen Mother's nickname when she was a girl."

"Great," Xander said flatly as they entered a huge building.

As soon as they were in, about a dozen orderlies and doctors and interns surrounded them, asking questions, taking temperatures, and generally making with the poking and prodding.

"Hey!" The Doctor shouted. "We're not the patients here! These bloody and unconscious women are!" No sooner was that said, than two floating gurneys dropped down in front of them. The Doctor placed Willow on one, Xander hesitantly put Buffy on the other. The gurneys shot down the hall and went into separate rooms.

Then the last Time Lord of Gallifrey turned around and beamed happily at his two bewildered human companions.

"I could definitely go for a nice cup of hot coco," He said cheerfully. "Best in the universe here."

Xander could not believe his ears. "Hot coco AND doctoring? Yeah, I can see how that works."

The Doctor ignored the sarcasm. "Oh absolutely! Hippocraticans firmly believe there's nothing that couldn't be made better with a steaming mug full of melty delicious chocolate! I think that's their secret." He winked conspiratorially." Just something you might want to consider Martha."

"Okay! That's it! What the hell's going on here!" Xander exploded. "My best friend has been SHOT, and I'm standing on another PLANET talking about hot coco!" He was panting heavily. "Who are you people."

-

Two hours later in the hospital's cafeteria, the carpenter, the physician, and the Doctor were all sitting down, and they each had a piping hot mug of the best coco in the universe in front of them

"So let me get this straight," Xander said carefully. "You're a time traveling alien." The Doctor nodded, taking a sip of his mug. "And your time machine is a phone booth?"

"Police Box," He corrected.

Xander downed his coco like it was a shot. He didn't even know what that meant. He turned to Martha.

"And you're a med student from England?" She nodded. "And you travel in time too?"

"Yes, but I've only been doing it for a little while."

The young man took a deep, shuddering breath, held it in for a minute, then exhaled slowly. "Okay. I believe you guys. And do you know why I believe you?" The Doctor smiled and shook his head. "It's because I'm not crazy."

The Gallifreyan set his mug down and stared at Xander like he'd never seen anything so amazing in his life.

"That has just got to be one of the most brilliant things I've ever heard. Good for you!"

Martha almost chocked on her coco and gave the Doctor an incredulous look. "What?"

Xander seemed equally confused, so the Doctor explained himself.

"You, my wonderful human friend, despite enduring extraordinary and improbable events, have taken the evidence placed before you and, despite it not conforming to your particular world view, have concluded; that since you aren't crazy, it must all be true!"

Xander nodded. Yeah, that was pretty much it.

"Wait a second Doctor! My hospital got sent to the moon and I didn't freak out! Much," she amended. "And I helped you take down that blood-sucking gramma too!"

The Doctor smiled fondly at her. "Martha Jones. You are an amazing woman. Congratulations for being so clever, talented, smart, intuitive, and interesting." By the end of that, Xander felt she was blushing harder than even Willow could've pulled off at her shyest.

While Martha mumbled her thanks, Xander focused on the part of what was said that interested him the most.

"Hey Martha," he started. "What did you mean by "blood-sucking gramma"?"

The Doctor gave him a calculating look. "It was an alien that could only pass for human by sucking out all the blood from one."

"Like a vampire?"

"I suppose, but no fangs. She used a straw," He explained. "Are you familiar with vampires Xander?"

He nodded.

"Wait, what?" Martha asked, again incredulous. "You mean vampires are real?"

The Doctor nodded. "Oh yes. Blood drinking, holy water, crosses, the whole nine yards."

"You've got to be shitting me!"

"Nope." He leaned in closer to Xander. "Tell me, how did you lose your eye?"

Xander was not expecting that question. "I..."

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to. It's just... The doctors here could replace it."

-

Buffy felt warm. Warmer than she has in a while. The sun was shining and the birds were singing merry bird-songs. Life was good. She smiled prettily. This was perfect! A day off for just her and her friends.

"Pass the corn, would you?" Giles asked. "Oh, and the butter too."

"Rupert! What about your cholesterol?" Joyce admonished.

"Yeah Giles, we don't want you getting a heart attack for any reason not having to do with us." Xander told him seriously.

He snorted. "Oh perish the thought." Joyce held her hand out, causing Giles to sigh in exasperation. "I'm 55 years old, and I'll have butter if I bloody well feel like it," he told her petulantly.

Joyce arched an eyebrow at him. He stared defiantly back.

And while he was distracted, Dawn swooped in and stole the butter!

"Good work sweetie," her mother praised.

He gave Dawn a withering glare. She just smiled sunnily.

"Hey Dawnie?" Willow asked. "Could I get some of that churned dairy-goodness?"

She passed it along to the older girl, but not before helping herself.

Giles muttered something rude in another language, and moodily ate his unbuttered corn.

Buffy laughed at the expression on his face.

"Does anybody want more potato salad?" Tara asked.

Joyce patted her stomach. "Oh no honey, I couldn't eat another bite." She smiled. "Thank you for bringing it. It was delicious."

"Yes," Anya agreed. "I clearly enjoyed it as well." She held up her empty plate. "I'd have more, but I'm saving room for dessert. The dessert that I made for you all to enjoy."

"And I bet it's going to be the best dessert I've ever had." Xander said sappily.

"Unless you count the sexy ones."

Xander smiled adoringly at her. "Yeah, except those."

She smiled back. "I'm partial to them as well." They kissed passionately, much to the amusement/disgust to those around them. Finally, they pulled apart. "Why don't we... do some dishes."

"Right. Dishes. We should do it.. them! I meant them." He grabbed her hand, and they stood up. "Let's go. Do dishes."

"Yes, let's"

They all watched as the two of them ran off. Giles used the distraction to sneak some butter.

"Have good sex!" Dawn called cheerily.

"We will!" Anya replied before they disappeared into the house.

"Oh damn! Is that the time?" Giles cursed, looking at his watch. He stood up. "I'm sorry everybody, but I have a prior engagement that I simply cannot miss." He walked over and gave Joyce a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for a lovely time."

She smiled at him. "Despite the butter?"

He laughed. "Yes, despite that. Bye all."

They all waved as Giles left.

"So who's up for that dessert?" Buffy asked. The gathered ladies smirked at her. Buffy realized how that might've been construed given the previous conversation, and blushed. "Not the kind Xander and Anya are having, unfortunately," she added in an aside, "Just the regular stuff."

Everyone laughed.

"I'm sorry Buffy, but we have class." Willow told her regretfully.

"Aw," Buffy pouted. "Can't you blow it off?"

Tara gave her an apologetic look. "It's finals."

"Phooey."

"Thank you for a wonderful time Mrs. Summers," Tara said sincerely.

"Yeah, thanks Joyce!"

She smiled. "It was my pleasure girls. Good luck on those exams."

Willow and Tara headed off to the hallowed halls of learning.

"Looks like it's just us Summerses." Buffy said, not at all unhappy at the thought.

Dawn grimaced. "I was supposed to go over Janice's house after dinner to help her with her homework."

"What?" Buffy asked, a little worried. "Why didn't I know about that?"

She rolled her eyes at her big sister while putting on her backpack. "Because you're not the Mom of me? Besides. If I don't help her, Janice is probably gonna flunk out and have to take the year over again."

Dawn kissed them both goodbye, then was off to Janice's for, I'm sure, entirely academic, and not social, reasons.

Buffy watched her go a little sadly. "Okay Mom, I guess it's just you and me."

"Actually Buffy," an angry and hateful voice said from behind her. She whirled around in time to see Angel snap Joyce's neck. "It's not."

"MOM!"

Angel dropped Joyce and Buffy stared in horror at the collapsed form of her mother, taking particular note of the awkward angle of her neck.

She turned her gaze to her former lover.

"I'm going to kill you." She said savagely.

Angel's eyes flashed white, and he fell to his knees. A vortex opened behind him.

"I made my decision." The vortex began pulling him in. Buffy grabbed his hands, trying to keep him here. "This wasn't your fault."

She couldn't loose him! No one could take him from her! "I won't let you go!"

He looked her directly in the eyes. If she didn't let go soon, she'd fall with him. "I love you."

"Then stay with me! Don't give up! Please!" She begged as they were pulled in.

Someone grabbed her by the waist and yanked her back. Angel was lost to the vortex.

"NO!" she sobbed, struggling against her rescuer. "ANGEL!"

"I'm so sorry Buffy," Spike told her. "But I couldn't let you die. I love you."

He pulled her close and held her as she cried.

He was warm. Too warm. Buffy looked up at him. He was burning up.

"Spike, what...?"

Spike pushed her away, and gave her a tragic expression.

"I'm sorry pet, looks like you're all alone."

The light from his pendant shone brightly, and he turned to ash in front of her eyes.

"Oh god, not Spike too!"

Buffy looked around frantically.

"Hello?" She called out. "Somebody answer me! Please!" Her voice somehow echoed in the empty landscape. "daddy," she begged piteously, collapsing. "please don't leave me. what did i do wrong?"

"Buffy."

She looked up, hope flaring in her heart. Someone was there! She wasn't alone!

"Help me!" She cried out. "I'm so scared. I thought you left."

Gentle hands wrapped themselves around her, and she felt safe again.

"It's okay Buffy, I've got you."

-

Xander looked into the mirror with a dumbfounded expression, and raised a trembling hand up to his face, covering his right eye. He could still see.

"Looks good doesn't it?" The Doctor asked, coming up behind him to clasp a hand on his shoulder. "Unfortunately it's just a prosthetic. It would've taken years to grow a new one."

They were in a dressing room, Xander had just finished getting his clothes back on when The Doctor showed up.

He looked back through the mirror, confused. "It's fake?" The Doctor nodded. "But I can see through it."

"I know. Brilliant, isn't it? The Hippocraticans found away to attach optic nerves to a small, highly complex, camera." Xander waved his hand in front of his face, closing one eye, then the other. "The camera can focus, adjust to light, get red, and even bleed and heal like a real eye." The Doctor paused, a goofy, knowing smile on his face. "Not to mention the other stuff it'll do."

Xander turned to look at the Doctor. He stared at the smug man for a full minute before whipping out the pamphlet the Hippocratican physicians gave him and reading it voraciously.

A big stupid grin broke out on his face. "I have x-ray vision?"

"Keep reading."

The grin dimmed a little. "It won't go through clothes?"

The Doctor's smile grew enormously amused. "Tragic, I agree. Guess you'll just have to get by with only seeing through walls."

"I suppose I can do that," he said, continuing to read. "Ooh! The eye can record stuff for future reference! Neat!"

"Yeah. It's a shame you don't have a neural jack. You would've been able to take photos."

Xander glanced up at the Doctor, not really sure how to respond to that. "Right. Hey, this thing's got a zoom feature!"

"Well of course it does! What camera would be complete without one?" The Doctor asked, insulted.

"How far is 100 plourtics?" Xander asked.

The Doctor considered for a moment. "Roughly three miles, I'd say."

Xander looked at the other guy to see if he was joking. The Doctor beamed at him, causing Xander to think he wasn't. Anyone who could make that face couldn't possibly be lying.

The eye also could see various other spectrums on the scale. Including ones Xander was pretty sure hadn't been discovered yet. The down side was, in order to see most of them, he'd need one of those neural jack things.

Xander was pretty sure he could live with it.

"Excuse me, Mr. Harris?" He looked up at the source of the interruption. A female nurse was standing at the doorway to the dressing room.

"Yes?" He asked nervously. "If it's about insurance...?"

The nurse frowned at him in confusion. "What's "insurance"?"

"Never mind. What can I do for you?"

The nurse smiled at him. "I'm here to give you an update on your friends."

Xander saw her happy expression, and felt encouraged. "How are they?"

"Ms. Rosenburg's surgery was a success and we've almost completed her radiation therapy."

"Radiation?" Xander asked in confusion.

"Yes sir. She was exposed to the same radiation as Ms. Summers, though not to the same degree, and it caused a severe infection in her wound. If she got here any later, she most certainly would have died."

Xander sat down on a chair. His legs were suddenly weak. The Doctor patted his shoulder comfortingly. "What about Buffy?"

The nurse smiled again. "She's responded very well to therapy, and is out of her coma. She's asleep, and resting comfortably."

Xander laughed in relief. "Oh thank God."

The nurse looked at him funny again. "What's "God"?"

The Doctor smiled at the nurse. "Don't mind my friend. He's from another planet you know." He added softly.

The nurse nodded as if that explained everything. "Well, if you want, you can see her."

Xander nodded eagerly.

The nurse led them to a room. Xander swallowed nervously, reaching a shaky hand towards the door.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Oh come on!" he said in exasperation before barging in.

Xander rushed in after him. He opened mouth to say something to the Doctor, but froze when he saw Buffy.

She looked perfect. When the Doctor told him about chronic illness, he imagined a bald Buffy with sunken and sallow skin. But there she lay; beautiful as ever. And as he walked up to her, Xander discovered a new function of his new eye. It could cry.

He wiped his eyes before reaching down and grabbing her hand. "Hey Buff."

The Doctor smiled with utter satisfaction, and left.

He walked back into the waiting area, where an anxious Martha waited for him.

"Doctor!" She cried when she saw him. "How's...?"

"Everyone's going to be fine." Martha breathed a sigh of relief. "We saved their lives," he said proudly.

"It was mostly you though, wasn't it?" she pointed out. "I mean, I didn't even do much."

"Don't be ridiculous Miss Jones. If it wasn't for you sending Xander out to fetch me, I wouldn't have seen how badly Willow was hurt, and would never have thought to bring her here."

Martha gave him a demure smile. "But I didn't ask for you Mister Smith. Xander made a mistake. He was supposed to tell you when he was from, not send you to the medical bay."

The Doctor shrugged. "If you like. Still, you handled yourself well. Makes me glad for anyone who gets you as their doctor."

She grinned. "Provided I ever get around to finishing medical school."

-

She felt herself start to regain consciousness. Her sleep was restful and her bed was warm, and Buffy wanted to fight it, though it was no use. She stirred and tried to stretch, but someone was holding her hand. She opened her eyes to find out who.

Xander was staring at her with a tired, but happy, expression.

"Hey." She said sleepily before frowning. "What are you doing in my room?"

He laughed. It was impossible not to, given the circumstance.

"I hate to disappoint you Buffy, but I'm not in your room. Neither are you for that matter."

She sat up and looked around warily. "Where are we?" she demanded.

Xander let go of her hand and sat back in the chair the hospital staff provided. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Buffy thought for a moment. "A picnic?" She shook her head. "No, that was a dream. I..." She trailed off, a horrified expression formed on her face. "Willow!"

"It's okay. She's fine. We got her to the hospital just in time. That's where we are now."

Buffy raised the covers and glanced down at herself. "What am I doing not wearing my clothes? And how did we get here?"

Xander sighed, leaning forward onto his knees. "We were in a room. Do you remember that?" Buffy nodded. "Do you remember what was in the room?"

"Alien stuff. We were there looking for the compass and stuff from the Council's blacklist."

"Right. Well, while you were keeping the guards out, I panicked and started pushing buttons. Cue bright shiny light; enter Germany."

"Germany," she repeated flatly.

"Yep. One of the buttons I pushed activated a time doohickey, and sent us to the past."

Buffy furrowed her brow. "The..."

"...Past, yeah," Xander finished for her. "We materialized about 10 feet in the air, and fell into the middle of a bunch of God fearing, witch burning, 15th century Germans."

"O..okay." Buffy looked around the clearly not 15th century room. "How did we end up here?"

Xander chose his next words carefully. "The Doctor." He sat back and smiled wickedly.

When it became clear he wasn't going to say anything else, Buffy gave him a terrible glare and began looking around the room. Unfortunately, she didn't find anything to beat her friend to death with. Xander watched in amusement as she stood up, walked over to him, and picked him up by the shirt; holding him three feet off the ground.

"What did I tell you about being vague." She asked him dangerously.

He smiled down at her. Amusement dancing merrily in both his eyes. She gasped, dropping him.

He grunted when he hit the floor. "Jeez! I was beginning to think you'd never notice!" He stood up and smiled at her. "What do you think?" Xander put his hand to his chin and struck a debonaire (At least to him.) pose. Taking great care to make sure Buffy could see his new eye.

She punched him. "Who are you!" the Slayer demanded fiercely. "Where's Xander!"

Xander looked up at her. Of all the reactions, this was not one of the ones he expected.

"Buffy it's me! Really! I can prove it to you!" He thought frantically for something. Buffy sighed and raised her fist. "Wait! Umm... umm... ooh! Ask me a question!"

"Where's Xander!" She demanded again, advancing.

Xander stood up quickly and began backing away. "Not that one. C'mon Buff, it's me. If I was an impostor, why would I show up with TWO eyes in stead of one? That would be stupid, I'm the real Xander, and you don't even believe I'm me!

She hesitated.

"YES! Thank you Buffy!"

"Why did I want the compass?" She asked him.

Xander smiled. "You mean the one that points to your heart's desire instead of north?" She nodded. "Initially it was because you, me and Willow were going to use it for treasure hunting. But I suppose you thought of a better use for it. Like say, looking for Angel?"

Buffy's eyes widened. "Xander?" He nodded eagerly. "How?" She reached out and touched the left side of his face. Her eyes began to water. "Oh my God."

Xander smiled at her warmly. "We're in the future."

She blinked and pulled her hand back. "Huh?"

"The year sixty-three, fifty...something to be inexact."

Buffy stared at him dumbly. "Huh?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, not only are we in the future, but we're also on another planet too."

More staring.

"When that alien thing teleported us into the past, dousing you and Willow in something called chronic illness in the process, it attracted the attention of a time-traveling alien called the Doctor."

"Doctor who?" Buffy asked.

Xander shrugged. "He says he doesn't have a name. Anyway, the Doctor saved us from the angry, God fearing, witch burning, Germans, and brought us here." Xander pushed a button on the wall and a panel opened up under it, revealing two steaming mugs of coco. He took one for himself and handed the other to Buffy. "The universe's best hot chocolate." Buffy took a sip and her eyes widened in surprised delight. "So yeah. This planet's called Hippocratica, and it's supposed to have the best doctors ever." Xander took a sip of his coco. "And after saving you and Willow, I believe it."

Buffy frowned. "They saved me?"

He sighed. "Yeah. That chronic illness you got doused with, is fatal. You should've been dead long before we got here, but you survived."

"Must be because I'm a slayer." Buffy mused.

"That's my guess."

"And they fixed your eye?"

Xander handed her the pamphlet. "They replaced it with a prosthetic."

Buffy opened it up and read it. "They gave you x-ray vision?" she asked loudly.

Soon, a nurse came in to check up on them. They knew, almost immediately, that Buffy had woken up, but considered it rude to intrude on personal time if a life wasn't in danger. After Buffy and Xander had been silent for a period of five minutes, they felt it would be okay to send someone in.

The nurse came bearing Buffy's clothes and possessions. She got dressed in a different room, and told Xander if he peeked he'd be needing a new face to go along with that eye. (The Hippocraticans could probably arrange it too.) Once that was done, the pair of them went out to the waiting area.

The Doctor and Martha stood up to greet them. The Doctor walked up to Buffy and gave her a great big hug.

"Oh it's so wonderful to see you on your feet!" he enthused.

Xander smirked at Buffy's expression. "Buffy, this is the Doctor."

She removed herself from him and smiled awkwardly. "Um, hi."

Meanwhile, Martha was staring into Xander's eyes. "That's so amazing," she said in awe, before turning to her friend. "Oh Doctor! If we had this sort of technology on Earth, imagine all the lives we could save!"

The Doctor smiled at her. "Don't worry Martha. You'll get there in time."

She sighed wistfully, but understood what he was saying.

"So you're an alien?" Buffy asked. "You don't look like one."

Martha smirked. "Don't let that fool you. He's got two hearts, if you can believe that."

Buffy and Xander gave him an incredulous look. he nodded cheerfully.

They exchanged glances, then shrugged.

"So the Doctor's been telling me about vampires," Martha said after a few minutes of silence.

Buffy gave him a suspicious look. "Really?"

The Doctor chuckled. "Oh, judging by that expression, I'd say you're familiar with them too."

"You might say that. So what about them?" She asked.

"Oh it's so freaky!" Martha began. "There from another planet but came to Earth, like, a couple of thousand years ago!"

The two Scoobies burst out laughing and Martha gave them a very offended look. The Doctor rolled his eyes.

"We're sorry." Xander said, in between laughter. "It's just, we've been fighting them for a while."

"Yeah!" Buffy agreed, wiping her eyes. "I don't think we've ever heard anything like that!"

"You think they're demons then?" The Doctor asked. "Well, we'll just leave it there."

A nurse walked into the waiting room carrying a tray of hot coco. "I've got some good news!" she said happily. "Ms. Rosenburg is awake!"

-

I own no recognizable characters.


	2. Immutable, Flowing, and Dangerous

By the time the gang was allowed into Willow's room, her clothes and possessions had already been delivered, and she was sitting up in bed with a nice cup of hot cocoa.

"BUFFY!" she squealed rapturously, leaping from beneath her covers. The Slayer responded much in the same tone, and then the two women embraced while bouncing up and down. Xander, feeling left out, made a giddy noise, grabbed them both, and joined in.

The Doctor got a silly, wistful grin on his face. Rose would've loved to have seen this. She always was a total happy freak. Of course, that's what he thought of her before his regeneration into this current incarnation. Since then, he's been the same, if not worse! That's what made traveling with her afterwards so much... He didn't want to use the word "better", because that was certainly not accurate! No, it was more like the two of them became in tune with each other. More agreeable, maybe? At the very least, once he adapted to his new brain, he could certainly understand where her boundless enthusiasm for seeing the cheerful in life came from.

He sighed, causing Martha to glance at him.

"What's wrong?" she whispered. The Doctor looked at her. Oh there was absolutely no way on Earth (Or any other planet!) he'd tell her.

"Uh... I'm touched, truly, by this touching scene of joyous reunion." He smiled at her . 'Yes,' he thought, 'there's no way she bought that. I'm in so much trouble.'

"Doctor!" He winced internally at Martha's expression. Then she smiled saccharinely "That's so sweet!"

His expression unchanged, the Doctor pumped his fist in the air.

Martha shook her head. "You are so weird."

He nodded in agreement, and the two of them returned to the touching scene. (No, not that kind! Think clean thoughts people!)

The Scoobies detached themselves from one another, and Willow burst into a babble that frightened even the Doctor!

"Oh my God! I was so worried about you guys. The doctors didn't tell me anything, not that they had time on account of me just waking up, but still! What's been going on? Did we get the stuff from that jerk, van Statten? Did Giles like the compass? And Buffy! What did you mean you were going to use it to find Angel? Would that work? I mean, he's in another dimension! I suppose I could... I could..."

She trailed off, staring. Buffy and Xander, who were grinning like idiots throughout her vocabulary explosion, assumed a worried expression.

"Will?" Buffy started tentatively. "Are you okay?"

Xander relaxed when he realized what Willow was staring at. He gave his oldest friend a smile. "Hey pretty lady. Looking good in that perceived depth."

She didn't say anything. Neither did anyone else.

"Xander? How...?" She reached out to touch his face. Tears were freely falling from her eyes. Buffy was getting a little misty too. So was the Doctor, though he didn't really show it. Martha was watching the scene play out with bated breath.

Xander leaned into the touch, raising his hand and clasping hers. He gently pulled it away from his face, giving it a little squeeze.

The young man exhaled a shaky breath he didn't even realize he was holding. "I, uh, I think I'll let the Doctor tell you." Xander turned around and gestured to the suddenly wide-eyed Time Lord.

"Me?" he squeaked.

"Well, when I explained it to Buffy, she punched me in the face."

Willow threw the woman in question an affronted look. Buffy blushed. "I thought he was evil?" The look turned into a glare. Buffy cringed.

The Doctor had a brilliant idea. "Why don't we all retire to the cafeteria, and have a nice hot cup of cocoa!" Everybody stared at him, incredulous. "It IS the best in the universe," he defended weakly as they all went back to Buffy and Willow's conversation. "Very roomy, the cafeteria. Plenty of places for all of us to sit. And then there's the cocoa. Just thought it might be a nice, delicious way of breaking the tension," the Doctor grumbled.

"Will, I swear, it was just a misunderstanding!" Buffy pleaded. "I so didn't mean it!"

"Yeah, Will, it's all better," Xander promised. "Buffy punched me because she thought I was evil. It's cool though. She promised to be my love slave to make it up to me."

"I did not! Maybe you need to get your ears replaced too!"

Xander smirked. "I might, but I can tell you one thing I've got that still works perfectly."

Martha barked a laugh at that, while Willow blushed. The Doctor pouted because no-one seemed to want any cocoa. Buffy, however, sputtered in an inarticulate rage, before narrowing her eyes with a deadly promise.

"I can change that," she said seriously.

Xander swallowed heavily. "So, how's about that cocoa?"

The Doctor beamed. He really did love the stuff.

-

Two hours later, and Willow was up to speed. Her first instinct was to argue the impossibilities of time travel. But then she remembered Xander's new eye, and the fact that her watch said only a day had passed since she had been shot. They really must be in the future for medicine to be so advanced.

The red-headed hacker/witch didn't move for a good three minutes while she processed everything she'd been told.

Time travel. Wow, what a concept. Of course she always dreamed of it. What would it be like to see the dinosaurs? To speak with Einstein? Or to watch them build the pyramids? Or the Great Wall of China! Oh God! She could go back in time and ... and...

Willow stared into her cup of cocoa with an expression of realization. One that the Doctor recognized.

"Doctor...?" she started.

"No," he told her sadly, yet sternly.

Her face crumbled. "But you don't even know what I was going to ask!"

"But I do," he countered gently. "You see, you're not the first person to think of it. My friend Rose once asked me if she could see her father." Martha, who had been in discussion with Buffy, about fashion of all things, quickly focused her attention on the Doctor. "He died, when she was an infant, in a hit and run, you see. She just wanted to talk to him. That's all. And because I felt bad for her, and because she wanted it so much, and because her pain reminded me so much of my own, I believed it. I think she did too. But when the time actually came, she couldn't bring herself to leave. Rose saved her father's life. And in doing so, very nearly destroyed the universe. She had to ensure that he die, in order to fix what she'd broken."

The Doctor gave the now weeping Willow a very empathetic expression. "You can't change what's been done. Oh how I wish you could," he told her with great sincerity. "I wish we all could. But the past is immutable. If it were anything otherwise, reality could not exist." He sighed heavily. "And the loved ones we miss so much, would still be lost to us."

Willow was openly sobbing now. Xander, who realized what they were talking about, pulled her close, and held her tight.

Buffy was staring at the Doctor. "Who did you lose?" she asked softly.

The Doctor didn't answer, just looked down at his hands. Martha placed one of hers on his forearm, and offered him a sympathetic smile. He patted her hand and gave a tiny one back.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, ashamed. "I had no right to ask."

"Well of course you did," the Doctor told her, before grinning cheekily. "I was just never under any obligation to answer."

-

Soon, everybody was saying their goodbyes to the nurses that tended to them so well, and heading back to the TARDIS.

Despite the conversation earlier, Willow was still quite eager to see an actual time machine. In fact, she kept slamming the Doctor with all kinds of childish questions. Questions that he happily answered. In her mind, she'd been building up this grandiose looking device; worthy of Wells, or Bradbury, or Roddenberry, or... or even Doc Brown!

Willow and the Doctor were both commenting on the merits of using a Delorean, when they stopped walking. She glanced around.

"Are we lost?" she asked. Smirking, the Doctor shook his head. "Then why did we stop?"

"We're here! Congratulations on seeing your very first time machine!" he said enthusiastically.

Willow and Buffy both started looking around, trying to find anything that looked like a TARDIS, but all they could see in the tiny alley was a dumpster and a big blue box. Both Xander and Martha were holding back fits of the giggles. Xander, who was far more schooled in the fine art, fared much better than poor Martha. It was just lucky for her, that Buffy and Willow didn't know her well enough to get with the threatening. Unfortunately for Xander, they had no such qualms when it came to him.

Buffy threatened Xander with things better left unsaid, and Willow was just about to tell him how fun a life as a dog would be for him, when the Doctor took pity on the terrified young man.

He made his way between the irate witch and her would-be victim, pulled out his key, and opened the TARDIS door.

The Doctor beamed happily at the lady Scoobies. "Welcome to the TARDIS," he said to them before disappearing inside it. Martha followed, still chuckling. Xander saw Buffy and Willow's absolute shock, and took advantage of it; he ran inside as fast as he could.

The girls stared at the blue box that was also a time machine. Buffy turned to Willow.

"What's a Police Box?" she asked, reading the side of the blue box.

"Apparently it's a time machine."

The Doctor poked his head out the door. "Are you coming, or what?"

"How can they all fit inside?" Buffy asked.

"There's only one way to find out."

They walked in.

"Finally!" the Doctor complained good-naturedly. "What took you so long?"

Willow and Buffy couldn't believe their eyes. "Wow." Will breathed. Buffy nodded her agreement.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Xander asked as he came up beside them.

Willow nodded, to stunned for words.

"How about I give you lot a tour?" Martha offered. "After all, the last time you were here, you were in no shape for exploring."

Willow nodded eagerly. "Would that be all right Doctor?" she asked hopefully.

The Doctor patted the console fondly. "If you wait half a sec, I'll join you. The TARDIS did always like it when people say flattering things about her." He began working the console, hitting it with the hammer, and making the pumping actions, but this time, he pushed a button, then kicked it. The TARDIS sprang to life, and Xander heard the now familiar vworping sound.

Willow watched in awe. "What's that noise?"

"Oh that's the engine breaking through the time barrier. Well I say engine, but it's more like energy, really. Crackling and cascading and flowing through the time stream. And it's not actually breaking, so much as maneuvering."

"Oh...neat."

The Doctor rubbed his hands eagerly. "So how about that tour?" He beamed at Martha. "Lead on!"

She frowned. "But if you're going..."

"Piffle! Where's the fun in that? So what are you showing us first Miss Jones?" He reached into his pockets and pulled out a bag of peanuts and a camera.

Everybody stared at Martha expectantly.

"Um... Well if you'll follow me, this is where the medical bay is," she started, sending a mild glare at the Doctor.

The tour went well, and the group seemed to really enjoy it. Buffy took special interest in the Doctor's wardrobe room, and was very impressed with the various costumes and outfits he possessed from all throughout time. The gang tried some of the more ludicrous ones on, and the Doctor took pictures.

Xander seemed enamored with the enormous bathroom. "It has a full sized swimming pool!" he enthused. The bathroom was adjacent to the library (For obvious reasons.) and that was the room that had Willow enthralled.

"Look at them all! There are so many!" She ran up to a shelf and grabbed the first book she saw. It was entitled, "The Curious Mind" by Pammomma Eeglacs.

The Doctor smiled in remembrance. "That's a brilliant book, that is. Global best seller in the year 2085." Willow gave the Doctor an expression full of awe.

"All these books are from another time?"

He laughed. "Oh yes! I challenge you to find a book that isn't, in some form or another. Books are the first time machines y'know." The Doctor took the book from Willow and held it before her. "Powered by ideas, and the miracle of imagination. Capable of bringing you anywhere, anywhen, in the universe."

Martha smiled. "The power in words, eh Doctor?"

"Absolutely Martha Jones."

With that said, the Doctor asked them to bunch up close. "Something for the scrapbook, you see." They agreed, and the Doctor set the camera on a timer, and hurried into the shot.

And then the tour was over. The Doctor brought them all to the control room and made an announcement.

"I'm sorry, but I can't bring you home."

The room exploded with questions, demands, and protests. The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver, and set it to an attention grabbing frequency. Once everybody stopped yelling, the Gallifreyan explained himself.

"The device that brought you to Germany, created a time bubble encapsulating everything within a certain distance. When you three punched your way through the time barrier, you brought with you items of a fantastic and alien nature. These devices have altered the course of history, and it's up to us to change it back!"

The Doctor worked his console, taking them back to when they first met. Back to fix the damage that's been done.

-

It was decided that it would be better if they all dressed in the style of the era. Normally, the Doctor didn't really worry about such things, but as they didn't know how long they would need to stay, he felt it prudent to do so. Once disguised properly, they went to the spot where the Scoobies fell.

The sight that greeted them was an odd one, to be sure.

"Oh wow! Look, that's us!" Willow said pointing to the center of the irate crowd.

The gang watched as the events from before played out. The other Doctor, Xander, and Martha ran off in the opposite direction, carrying another Willow and Buffy. The mob chased after them.

"That's so weird." Xander said fervently, as they walked into the area. It seemed like most of the objects were left untouched in the streets.

"Very Harry Potter." Buffy agreed, gathering anything that looked like it was from the future.

"I love those books!" the Doctor enthused. "Wait till you read book seven!" He picked up a device. "Ooh, a Tavlek arm band! How on earth did it get on Earth?"

Martha smirked. "He cried when he read it."

"I got all misty-eyed too." Willow admitted, helping Buffy.

"You've read it?" Martha asked in surprise. She nodded. "Guess you're from my future then. The book's not come out for me."

Xander started to rub his new eye. "Oh that's creepy."

"What?" Buffy asked, looking around.

"My eye. It's reading all the different energy signatures from this junk."

"Is it bothering you?"

"Nah, just takes some getting used to, y'know?" He shrugged and went back to picking up alien tech. Buffy watched him for a bit, smiling. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just... The eyepatch really didn't do all that much for you."

Willow nodded. "It was the lack of symmetry."

Martha looked at Xander. "Oh I don't know. It made him seem sort of rugged, manly y'know?" Xander preened a little.

"Really?"

"Oh absolutely." Martha said seriously before breaking out into laughter. "You were a right Nick Fury!"

Buffy and Willow joined in on the laughing. Xander glared at them all, and went back to work.

"HEY!" an angry voice said from out of nowhere. "What do you think you're doing?"

The group looked up to see an official looking man huffing his way up to them. He was a rotund individual of around 30, wearing the robes of the clergy.

The Doctor smiled at him. "Hello. The name's Smith, and I'm here on official church business." He reached into his pocket and pulled out some kind of leather billfold and held it open for the man to see.

He read it, and sighed in relief. "Oh thank God! I wasn't sure what I was going to do! What with all the witchcraft going on lately." The priest wiped his brow with a handkerchief. "My name's Otto Adolphus. I am minister of the local church."

The Doctor shook the man's hand. "And it's such a pleasure to meet you Otto! Can I call you Otto?" He opened his mouth to comment. "Well anyway my good fellow, the Holy Catholic Church is here to confiscate all this terrible, not to mention evil, witchy witch... stuff. Anyway, we, that is to say my fellows and I, are trained specifically to handle this sort of thing. Why don't you head back to your church and pray for our continued success, eh?" The priest opened his mouth to comment. "There's a good man." The Doctor patted his shoulder genially. "Well off you go."

Father Adolphus looked over the Doctor's shoulder in time to see Willow drop a device, causing it to sparkle and shoot what looked like fireworks.

He shook the Doctor's hand. "Good luck, your Eminence." Then ran away as fast as his plump little legs could take him.

"Your Eminence?" The Doctor grinned. "I don't mind that at all." He turned around in time to see the device Willow dropped, explode in a brilliant, yet fortunately quiet, flash of pretty colors. "Ooh, lovely."

Willow walked up to him carrying an armful of alien tech. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for it to break! I was just holding it, when it sorta leapt from my hands. Not that I was holding it specifically, though I guess I probably should have now that you mention it, it was just one of the things that I was carrying to bring to you and here," She dumped the armful into his hands. "You should probably put this stuff in your pocket cuz I don't seem to have any and what was I talking to you about again?"

The Doctor took the offered tech while staring at Willow in fascination. "How did you manage to get all that in one breath? I tried that once and nearly passed out!"

"Huh?"

"Never mind. You dropped something?"

"Oh right! Yeah, what was it?"

The Doctor thought for a moment, depositing the tech into his pockets. "I do believe it was a firecracker." He nodded. "Yes indeedy! From Tworlowurgruenouge, if I'm not mistaken. Great party planet, Tworlowurgruenouge. They have festivals every weekend."

Soon, the gang had collected all the devices in sight. Unfortunately, both the Doctor's sonic screwdriver, and Xander's eye, were picking up more alien tech not in the vicinity. Plus they hadn't found the time travel device that brought the Scoobies there in the first place.

It was assumed that someone in the angry mob had taken it. The Doctor believed that was the signal his screwdriver was picking up, as it was set to register time travel devices. Xander's eye, however, was seeing weird energy signatures coming from another direction.

They decided to split up. Buffy and the Doctor would go one way, Xander, Martha, and Willow would go the other. The Doctor felt it would be safer if one relatively experienced time traveler went with each group. He also augmented their cellphones so they could remain in communication.

They agreed to meet back at the TARDIS by daybreak, and were off.

-

"So how long have you been doing the whole time traveling thing exactly?" Xander asked Martha as they headed towards the energy signatures.

She gave him a haughty look. "How can one measure time, when one's traveling through it?" the young woman asked pompously.

"Ha. Ha. Note my sarcastic laugh."

She grinned. "About two months."

Willow, who was fussing with her uncomfortable and too tight but not in a sexy way dress, looked surprised.

"Wow! That's not very long at all!"

"It doesn't seem like it when you say it like that, but if you put it in terms of how many times I've almost died, then it becomes a lot."

"If it's so dangerous, then why do it?" Willow wanted to know. It was different for her and her friends. After finding out what the world was really like, it became impossible to ignore it. And dangerous, life-threatening situations were a part of that. But Martha chose to travel with the Doctor. She sought out the chance to die in some time far from her own, and Willow didn't understand why.

"Because it's worth it. You can't imagine the things I've seen Willow! The people I've met. I've heard an entire city sing at once! It was like listening to the Heavenly Choir! Oh, I'll never forget it." She smiled radiantly, remembering. "I've met Shakespeare too! The horny bastard kept hitting on me! But he was so very brilliant. Ooh! And I got to see the Empire State building being built! Helped to fight off an alien invasion of the earth, put a stop to Baltazar: The Scourge of the Galaxy, and best of all," Martha blushed, "I got to stand in the earthlight."

"That does seem kinda nice." Willow had to admit. "I'd love the chance to talk with Shakespeare!"

"Well, maybe the Doctor will take you to visit with him. Though he is a notorious flirt."

"I think I could handle him." Willow said with a smile.

Xander, who had been listening with half an ear, was going to say something witty, yet incredibly crass, about his best friend's lesbianism, when he saw them through the wall.

Vampires. Six of them.

The demons were waiting around a corner for the trio to fall into their clutches.

Xander put his hands up and gestured for the ladies to be quiet. He used hand signals to tell Willow what the situation was.

Martha was confused at first. She wanted to know why Xander had become so serious, not to mention nervous. That faded though, when she saw the bubbly and upbeat Willow tense up and pull a sword out of nowhere!

Willow handed Xander the weapon and pulled a cross out for Martha.

"Stay behind me," she told the now very uncomfortable woman. She looked on in shock as Willow's hands burst into flames.

This entire process took maybe half a minute.

Xander resumed his walk and conversation. "Sorry about that ladies," he said in a casual tone that completely hid the fear he felt. "But I'm afraid that my feet can't possibly abide rocks in the shoes."

As soon as he stepped past the corner, Xander ducked the arm that reached for him, and plunged his sword into the chest of the demon that did it. Martha let out a surprised screech, and hid behind Willow.

Of course, the sword couldn't kill the vamp, but it did hurt like hell, creating enough of a distraction for Xander to pull a stake out and dust it. Once it was free, Xander swung the sword in an arc, slicing another vampire diagonally up the chest. The demon howled in pain and anger, and Xander put the beast out of it's misery.

With the element of surprise now gone, the demon fighter pulled back, away from his foes, to get his bearings. There were two down, and only four to go.

One of the vampires lunged at him, and burst into flames. The others looked at him, then back at the black eyed, fiery-handed, Willow. They decided to run.

"Oh no you don't!" the angry witch whispered. "_Stop_!" she commanded. One of the demons did. The other two left him to his fate.

Xander walked up to the vamp and slammed him against the wall. He put a sword into his neck, deep enough to hurt, but not enough to prevent him from speaking.

"Who do you work for!" he demanded harshly.

Martha couldn't believe what she was seeing. The normally kind-hearted, funny, gentle Xander, was torturing a man!

"Stop it!" she cried. "He'll die!"

Willow put a firm hand on her shoulder. "He's a vampire. He was going to rape and eat us. He doesn't deserve your sympathy."

"I don't work for anybody!" Xander wiggled the sword and the vampire groaned in agony. "I swear I don't!"

"C'mon," Xander wheedled, "There's no way you work for yourself. You're too dumb. Who's your sire?"

"You staked him!"

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did!"

"Okay, maybe I did. Whatever. Who's the big bad in town?" Xander asked the creature.

"What?"

"Who's in charge around here? You may not work for them, but you know who they are! Now I want to."

The demon sneered. "Why should I tell you? You're gonna kill me anyway!"

"True," Xander admitted, "But whether or not you scream when I do, is the question."

"It's Setesh! He's the boss around here! Most of the vampires and demons in town work for him!"

"What's he doing with them?"

"He's making them look for something!"

Xander pushed the sword in deeper, causing the demon to scream. "And what's that?"

"I don't know! Please, just kill me!" The vampire's voice was a coarse whisper. Xander had cut the voice box, and now he pushed his sword all the way through, beheading him.

Martha stormed up to Xander, and slapped him in the face. "Don't you talk to me again! Either of you!" she told them furiously, before running off in tears.

-

Buffy and the Doctor were walking arm in arm. The Doctor had his sonic screwdriver out, and was following it to the source of the chronal energies. Buffy watched with mild fascination as the screwdriver would beep faster, or slower, depending on which way they went.

"It's like playing warmer and colder, isn't it?" Buffy observed.

The Doctor considered it for a moment. "Y'know, that's an excellent way of putting it. Warmer and colder. Why didn't I think of that? From now on, that's what I'll say when they ask me what I'm doing. It'll be like, "Hey Doctor, why is your sonic screwdriver making all those beeps?", and I'll reply: "It's playing warmer or colder with the energies," Oh that's brilliant!"

Buffy stared at him out of the corner of her eye, unable to tell if he was being serious, or not. Graciously, Buffy decided to let the matter drop.

"So, how much longer 'til we get to said energies?"

The Doctor shrugged. "No idea," he admitted cheerfully. "I expect we'll figure that out when we get there."

"Great."

It took a little while. The Doctor made a couple of wrong turns, and the screwdriver lead them down a couple of dead ends that they had to maneuver around, but they did manage to find the place that was emitting them.

"A church?" he asked in bewilderment. "Oh that can't be right! Well, I say "can't", but that's not necessarily true. Heck, it's not even unlikely."

"And how did that fat friar know where the alien tech was anyway? He wasn't around for the angry mob," Buffy noted.

"Yes, good point. If someone did go to fetch him, they most likely would've come back with him too. Not to mention the fact he didn't offer us a place to stay."

Buffy frowned. "So?"

"What do you mean, "so?" He's supposed to!"

"How come?"

The Doctor pulled out his leather billfold, and presented it with a flourish. "Because of this!"

"It's a blank piece of paper," she noted flatly.

"Really?" the Doctor asked, sounding surprised. "You don't see anything?"

"Should I?"

He nodded. "It's psychic paper. It'll show people what I want them to see. But it won't work on those that have had psychic training, nor those with exceptionally high IQ's." The Doctor gave Buffy a calculating look. "So which one are you then?"

"I got a 1430 on my SAT's?" Buffy offered.

"I suppose that answers that question, huh?" he said, impressed. "Only 170 away from a perfect score. Very nice."

Buffy, uncomfortable talking about herself, redirected the conversation back to the previous topic. The Doctor told her it was customary for representatives of the church to actually stay in a church, or church owned building. The fact that Father Adolphus didn't offer them a place to stay, was rather telling.

"So what do we do?" Buffy asked.

"We knock on the door. After all," the Doctor held up his psychic paper, "He thinks I'm from Rome. Called me Eminence, he did."

Buffy shrugged. "You're the doc, Doc."

He did just like he said, and knocked. After a few moments, the door opened to reveal Father Adolphus.

"Otto!" the Doctor greeted happily. "So wonderful to see you again. May we come in?" He pushed the portly priest aside without waiting for an answer. There was little illumination in the church. The only light source was a small candle in Adolphus's hand. Even the moon, shining through the windows did little, save casting the room in a sinister light. "Lovely cathedral. Excellent stained-glass windows, really."

"Your Eminence. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Oh, my colleagues and I are in need of a place to stay. And since we are representatives of the Roman Catholic Church, same as you, we've decided to stay here."

Adolphus chuckled nervously. "I'm sorry your Eminence, but there just isn't any room. As you can see, the church isn't large enough to accommodate you and your people."

The Doctor nodded understandingly. "Of course, what with all the people already staying here."

There was a change in the atmosphere. Adolphus was no longer nervous, and Buffy could've sworn someone was watching them.

The priest smiled courteously. "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. Your Eminence."

"Oh, I think you do Otto," the Doctor sneered. "Why don't you tell your masters to show themselves."

He bowed, never taking his eyes off of the Doctor. The candlelight cast dark shadows across the genial face of the portly man, giving him a distinctly menacing air.

"Of course. You're Eminence. The divine Lord Setesh is eager to greet you personally." He beckoned the pair to follow him. They did.

Buffy groaned at the thought of another arrogant demon lord, and the Doctor's brow furrowed in deep thought. "Setesh... Setesh, where have I heard that name before?"

"Did you read about him a book centering on really conceded, egotistical, jackasses who think they're gods?" Buffy asked as they started down a flight of stairs.

Father Adolphus backhanded the Slayer. "You will not speak of your God with such disrespect!"

"Oh hell no!" Buffy moved to smack the taste out of the fat man's mouth, when the Doctor held her back.

"I don't think that was his fault," he told her in a whisper.

"How was that not his fault?" she demanded, whispering back.

The Doctor considered their guide for a moment. "I think he's under a sort of mind control."

Buffy groaned again. "I hate it when that happens."

They reached the bottom of the stairwell. "I am not permitted in," Adolphus told them. "The divine Lord Setesh is waiting for you." With that said, he headed back up the stairs. Once he was out of sight, the Doctor pulled his sonic screwdriver out. It was beeping wildly towards the door.

He and Buffy exchanged looks. "What do you think?" he asked.

Buffy smiled dangerously. "I think we go in, get the tech, and kick the crap out of anybody in our way."

The Doctor returned the smile in spades. "I knew I liked you."

They opened the door, and walked through it.


	3. Cellphones and Scrying

She was running blindly, Martha was. Running through the dark and dangerous alleys of 15th century Germany from two people she thought of as friends. True she'd only been aquatinted with them for a short time, but they were nice! They were her age, and they were nice. Xander seemed so sweet; the kind of guy she might've gone for in the past. And Willow was crazy adorable. She and Martha were really getting on.

But the girl's hands sparked fire, and Xander tortured a man for information. Yeah, that man was a vampire, Martha reasoned, but he was still a man.

The sky had opened up, and the rain was wet and cold. The shocked and, quite frankly, scared young woman slipped on the mud, hitting her head against the closest wall. The last thing she saw before blacking out, was the outline of a man reaching for her. And the last thing heard was an inhuman growl.

-

"Welcome mortals." A handsome man in lavish robes greeted them. He spoke with an unnaturally deep and resonant voice. "We are your God Setesh."

Buffy looked around the room they were in. It was small, but clean, consisting of an opulent bed, a magnificently carved desk, and decorated with gorgeous things. Setesh too, was adorned similarly. The most elegant and fine piece of jewelry being the gauntlet that covered his left hand.

There was something frighteningly familiar about his demeanor, Buffy noted, the holier-than-thou-because-I'm-a-god of it. But the voice, that was different. Glory never talked in such a way, and that fact allowed the Slayer to be cautiously optimistic.

"You don't look like a god," she said conversationally.

"Um, Buffy," The Doctor placed a restraining hand on her shoulder. She glared at him. "Yeah, never mind. Go ahead. I'll just stand here. Good luck." He gave her a thumbs up and a winning smile.

Setesh chuckled. "You would do well to listen to your friend. He's right to fear Us."

"Because you're a god?" Buffy clarified. Setesh nodded. "Have you ever heard of Glorificus?"

"Should We have?" he asked, amused.

Buffy grinned. A true god or goddess would know that name. Illyria did when they met. She/It was greatly amused that the vainglorious Glory was killed by a mere slayer.

"So Doc, what is this guy?" she asked.

The Doctor stared at Setesh with cold eyes. "He's a Goa'uld. A parasite that takes over your body, leaving you a prisoner in your own mind. Unable to do anything, other than watch, as the Goa'uld commits horrors with your hands. You feel what they feel, hear what they hear, and see what they see. All but the the most willful souls are driven mad by the experience."

"So, not a god?"

"No..." Before the Doctor could say anything else, Buffy pulled out a knife, and with surprising speed and strength, threw it at Setesh. She watched, dumbfounded, as her weapon bounced harmlessly off of a forcefield that surrounded him. "But they do possess impressive technology. One might even go so far as to call it godlike. It's how they convince the less advanced races of their supposed divinity."

The Goa'uld laughed. "We have nothing to prove to the lesser species. Our godhood is evident in your surprise little girl. Kneel before Us, and We shall forgive this assault."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "If I had a dollar every time someone asked me to kneel before them..."

"...You'd be a whore?" Setesh asked with a wicked smirk on his face.

The Doctor winced. "Ooh, that's just uncalled for."

Buffy snarled, and leapt forward, intent on ripping this ass a new one. She was stopped suddenly by a crippling agony in her head. Tears of pain ran down her cheeks as she stared at the angry glow emanating from the hand in front of her face.

-

"Dammit!" Xander yelled, coming to a halt. "We fraking lost her!"

Willow stopped next to him, out of breath. "Y'know you sound like a dork when you use fictional swearwords, right?"

"Not the issue Will."

"Nope, not even remotely. But if I don't make inane comments right now, I just might give into the panic and worry." She looked at her best friend who was staring blankly at a wall. "What are you doing?"

He stared for a few more seconds before vomiting all over the ground. "Making myself sick," he gagged. "I just tried to use that telescopic feature my eye has. Not fun, what with the one eye zooming forwards and the other not. Not to mention the x-raying."

Xander shut his right eye, and tried again. The nausea was less, but still present. He swayed slightly. Willow held him steady.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Xander shook his head, his face ashen. "I found her. God Willow. Call Buffy. Now!"

Willow pulled out her cellphone.

-

"Stop it!" the Doctor demanded, moving towards them. "You'll kill her!"

Setesh smirked at him. "Step again, and it's assured. But let it not be said that We are a heartless Deity. We will release her."

"And in return?" the Doctor asked harshly.

"We only want you to love Us. As We love you."

The incredibly awkward silence following that sentence was thankfully interrupted when the song, "Sk8er Boi", by Avril Lavigne belted out it's cheerfully annoying (To certain people, though not the Doctor. He was rather fond of the tune.) and upbeat chorus. Setesh quirked an eyebrow, then reached down to his quivering and shaking victim.

Buffy stirred. "No..." she protested weakly, thinking he would torture her again. Fortunately, the would-be god was only interested in her cellphone.

"What manner of device is this?" he asked, intrigued. "Clearly you are not of this world. You're knowledge alone proves that, but this," he held up the now silent phone, "Is remarkable. A small music box. Tell Us how it works, and We give you Our..."

"Oh knock it off with the "majestic plural"!" the Doctor screamed in exasperation. "You're not exactly a monarch at the moment, in case you hadn't noticed!" He rolled his eyes. "Every time I run into one of your lot, it's always something."

Setesh placed the phone on his desk, and stepped over the recovering form of Buffy. Thanks to her slayer healing, she was faring much better than she let on. As soon as the Goa'uld's back was to her, she opened her eyes and gave the Doctor a wink.

It was an effort not to wink back, but the Doctor managed. He turned his attention to the angry being before him and sneered impressively. "Yeah?"

"You will not speak to your God in such a manner!" he said dangerously.

"Or what?" Amusement and distain were evident the Doctor's voice. "You'll cow me with your scary flashy eyes, is that it? Or maybe you'll just whammy me with your nish'ta, hmm? Sorry, but I'm immune." The Doctor looked Setesh straight in the eyes, conveying anger and hate and absolutely no fear. "I've fought your kind before, and I'm still here. But some of you're mates aren't, are they? Ever wonder what happened to Thanos? Or Ishkur? How about Romulus? Did you even hear about him on this planet, with it's buried Chappa'ai; out of touch with the rest of the System Lords?" Setesh seethed at the Doctor. "No, I suppose you didn't. You were never important enough, even before Ra left this world. But still you think yourself a god. Not your fault really. It's your genetic memories. You have absolutely no choice." His eyes turned sympathetic. "I pity you."

Setesh's eyes flared in response, an expression of utter rage twisted his handsome features. "You dare? You dare pity me?" Breathing heavily, the Goa'uld stepped back and raised a jeweled palm at the Doctor. "I will flush out your insolence in a wave of pain!"

"Right. Sure you will," the Doctor said sarcastically as Buffy bashed Setesh in the back of the head. "We need to hurry. That won't keep him down for long." He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and used it to find the time traveling device. Once they got what they came for, the Doctor headed up the stairs.

Buffy followed him. "Wait!"

"What?"

"What are we gonna do about him?" She stuck her thumb behind her, gesturing to Setesh.

"Nothing. We don't have the time." The Doctor tossed Buffy her cellphone. "Look."

She did. There was one missed call. Buffy called her voicemail and listened to it.

"Buffy? It's me, Willow. I don't know why you didn't answer (I hope you're okay!), but we really need you're help. It's Martha. She saw me and Xander kill some vampires and had a total wig! She ran off Buffy! And when Xander tracked her down using his new eye... God, Buffy! She got taken by the Master!"

Buffy dropped the phone and stared at it in horror.

-

"Wake up!" Someone slapped her in the face. "Wake up!"

"Ugh! I'm up!" Martha looked around, she was in a cavern of some kind. "Where..?" She froze when she saw her captors. An appropriate term, for she was indeed captive.

"...Are you?" an amused voice finished for her.

He was hideous! Terrifying would also be an appropriate description. With pointed ears, pale skin, and a face that seemed to be fashioned of pure evil. It was wrinkled, this face, not with age (At least not as men reckon it), but with experience and wisdom and hate and malice and a plethora of other unpleasant concepts. His teeth were stained pink, and were too long and sharp. His hands had not nails, but claws. He smelled of long dead things. But all those, frightening as they may be, paled in comparison to his worst feature. His eyes, blood-red and pitiless and without mercy. They stared at her with such callous and inhuman interest.

Martha cringed and thought of her mother.

"You're in my home," the monster informed her before bowing deeply. "Welcome. Do you know what we are?" He asked, referring to himself and the beautiful blonde woman in the nun's habit standing over her.

"Vuh-vampires."

He smiled, pleased. "Very good."

"Master," the woman begged, impatient and anxious, staring at Martha hungrily, "Please let me have her."

He chuckled softly and gave the woman a fatherly pat on the shoulder. "Patience my dear. Patience. You are young, and there is much you need to learn. Manners for one," he chided gently, before turning back to the terrified human. "My name is Heinrich, and this is Laura."

Martha, using the wall behind her, unsteadily got to her feet, and curtsied nervously. "Huhhow do you do?"

Heinrich nodded appreciatively. "Oh very good. See Laura? Manners. So, what's your name?"

She swallowed heavily, not loving the way Laura's eyes watched her neck. "Martha, sir."

"Martha," he repeated, tasting it on his horrid lips. "What an unusual name. And why are you here Martha?"

"Be.. because you've brought me here?"

He chuckled wryly. "True, but what I meant was: Why are you still alive?"

Martha leaned heavily against the wall and made a brave attempt at controlling her fear. "Because you haven't killed me yet."

Heinrich again nodded appreciatively. He was impressed by this Negro's demeanor, the way she hadn't panicked when faced with her death.

"Quite right. And do you know why I would chose to spare your life, when my lovely Laura so wishes to end it?"

She shook her head. "No sir."

"I am an old vampire Martha, and have much power. I see things. Things unnoticed by the weaker, and the younger." Heinrich cocked his head to the side, studying her. "Do you know what I see when I look at you?" She shook her head and he smiled a terrible smile. "Neither do I."

Twenty feet above, Xander and Willow were plotting a rescue. They'd used Xander's eye to follow Martha and the Master to some caves outside of town.

"Okay, it's the Master, but so what?" Xander asked. "It's 400 years ago, he couldn't possibly be as tough as he was back in high school and I'm so kidding myself." He slumped, looking through the floor. "Man is he fugly. Seriously, how old is he?"

Willow shrugged. "How's Martha?"

"She's fine. The Master doesn't seem too interested in eating her yet. The vamp chick next to him, however..." He snapped his fingers in sudden realization. "You're magical."

The redhead quirked an eyebrow. "Okay."

Xander held out his hands excitedly. "I think I've got something resembling a plan that doesn't end with us all dead." A big grin broke out on his face. "Oh, yeah! Plan!" He started looking all around the ground. "There are about 15 vampires wandering around the sewers, but I don't think they're guards. We might be able to sneak in there."

Willow frowned pensively. "How?"

"The cloaking spell. The one you used on us when we were in the museum!"

"Yeah, and if you'll recall, that didn't exactly work out so well."

Xander nodded. "I get that, but remember what van Statten was collecting? I guarantee he was using alien tech to beef up his security!"

Willow caught on. "Holy crap, you're right! That's why it was so hard keeping my fields up!" She got a very insulted look on her face. "That dirty cheating cheater! Using alien tech to...to.. Broadband!"

"What?"

"He invented broadband. Practically. Or his company did anyway. I bet aliens invented it, and he just stole the idea!" Willow scowled, her face turning red in inarticulate indignation. "Ooh, that... that! Gah!"

Xander sighed. "Will, the cloaking thing?"

Willow took a cleansing breath, held it for five seconds, then exhaled. "Right. Yeah, okay." She thought for a bit, then frowned. "I don't know if it'll work. My cloak blocks us from sight, but it won't dampen noise, or hide our scent."

Xander deflated. "So what are you saying? We can't do anything?"

Willow smiled as her phone rang. "Not necessarily."

"Willow? What's going on?" Buffy demanded as soon as the other woman answered.

"You got my message?"

"You can't hear the worry?"

"Is that Buffy?" Xander asked.

Willow rolled her eyes. "Who else could it be?"

Xander blushed. "Right, yeah. The past. I forgot."

Willow sighed in exasperation. "Where are you?" she asked Buffy.

"How the hell should I know? I'm following the Doctor. He said he's got a lock on your cellphone with his blue flashlight thing. ("It's a sonic screwdriver, not a flashlight!" the Doctor protested.) So what's the sitch?"

And Willow told her of Xander's idea, and how she thought it wasn't feasible. Not without a little slayer help anyway.

"You can't be seen by the Master because he meets you in the future, but he wouldn't know us. So Xander and I are going to rescue Martha, while you make one whopper of a distraction, okay?"

Actually, it wasn't. Buffy had no intention of letting her friends face a vampire as powerful as the Master without her. She'd just wear a hat or something. And if, by pure accident of course, she managed to kill him? Oops. Buffy told Willow they'd discuss it more in person. Meanwhile, Xander was to keep an eye on Martha.

"I don't understand," the Doctor said once she hung up. "(And it's not often I'll admit that.) but you say Martha's been kidnapped by a centuries old vampire lord called the Master?"

Buffy and the Doctor were running full speed. Well, the Doctor was anyway. Buffy had to slow down so he could keep up. In fact, she was getting a little frustrated. Unfortunately, the Slayer had no way of tracking down Willow and Martha herself, so she was stuck.

"Sound's like you got it to me," she grunted.

"Yeah but, who calls himself, "The Master"? Bit pretentious, don't you think?"

"But, "Doctor" is okay?" Buffy asked sardonically.

"Yep," he said blithely.

She didn't feel like arguing. "Whatever."

The Doctor stopped, pointing his sonic screwdriver this way and that. "You're sure he's a vampire, this Master. You don't think he could be anything else?"

Buffy gave him a funny look. "Pointy ears, pointy TEETH, fruit punch mouth. That all adds up to vampire in my book." She cocked her head curiously. "Why?"

"No reason," came the nonchalant response. "Just thinking about a funny coincidence." The Doctor calibrated the sonic screwdriver. "Well, I say 'funny', but it's more like tragic. Actually, it's not tragic so much as odd. Which is just a synonym for 'funny' isn't it? Doesn't matter. I was just being silly." It beeped faster when he pointed it left. "Oh look." He said with a smile. "We go that way." Then he was off.

Buffy watched him go for a minute, trying to figure him out. She shook her head, deciding that smarter people have probably tried and failed, and hurried after him.

"Fruit punch mouth?" the Doctor questioned once she caught up. "What's even mean?"

-

The man opened his eyes for the first time in a long while. There wasn't much time. He rose to his feet and quickly looked for a way to die. Long has he been the slave of a mad creature. Unable to speak, move, or even breath on his own. Only now, while the demon within him still slept, was he finally free to take blessed control of his destiny!

Frantically, the man rummaged through the opulent and beautiful desk before finding a knife. He held the blade with shaking hands over his heart, knowing the wound must be one the monster couldn't heal. With great relish he did command those hands to end his tortured existence.

But they didn't. Instead, they put the knife down, and the man heard a contemptuous laughter. It was too late! He was again a prisoner.

_You are mine, _the demon told him,_ Now and forever._

The man screamed within his cage. A silent and futile gesture of torment, pain, and madness.

Setesh adjusted his robes, and left his room in pursuit of the ones who dare lay an unwanted hand upon his person.

Father Adolphus humbly approached his god in the main hall. "I have news my Lord." The Goa'uld paused and gave his slave all due attention. "The bishop and his woman, I know where they went. I overheard them as they left the church. The woman spoke of the Master. I believe she speaks of the one the vampires follow. It is said they now refer to him as such."

Setesh considered this new information. "It is so, my servant. Of course, I was aware of such things already." Adolphus nodded, confident in his lord's omnipotence. "But I wished to see how well you served." Setesh smiled and placed a gentle hand upon the man's brow. "I am pleased, and you will be rewarded."

Father Adolphus smiled rapturously. "Thank you Master."

"Now go," Setesh commanded. "Summon my soldiers, my Jaffa. Together, we shall raid the old vampire's den and capture the insolent man and his whore of a woman!"

The slave ran to do his master's bidding. He stopped before a building neighboring the church. Opening the door, Adolphus cried out, "Wake up! Stand at attention! Our master demands it!"

Very quickly did the men fall in line. One by one they stood for his inspection. The would-be god entered the building and smiled at the sight of so many warriors. He counted thirty. True, it was not exactly an army, but each soldier was chosen for his might and renown on the battlefield. Setesh lured them all from their former lords with his mind controlling nish'ta, and though their minds were dulled by it's effects, their prowess for war remained untouched.

Each of his Jaffa (For that is what he considered them to be, though they lacked the larval Goa'uld and accompanying gestation pouch. After all, did they not fight and die by his command?) gripped his staff weapon tightly and stood a little taller when Setesh passed them. He stopped before his First Prime.

"Johan, are my men at the ready?"

Pride glinted in the man's eyes when he responded. "See for yourself my Lord." He turned to face them. "Jaffa! Kree!"

As one, they saluted Setesh and shouted, "WE LIVE AND DIE FOR OUR GOD!" They held their staffs before him. "HE WHO PRESIDES OVER THE DESERT!" The staffs were then slammed on the floor. "HIS GLORY AND MIGHT IS THAT OF THE SANDSTORM! LAYING WASTE TO ALL IN IT'S PATH!" The Jaffa stood at attention again. "HAIL SETESH! HAIL SETESH! HAIL SETESH!"

The Goa'uld smirked. It was good to be a God.

-

Martha did her best not to quail under the intense scrutiny of the Master Vampire, but she was only human. And a vampire is a human's natural predator. Her composure cracked, and she began to tremble.

"Where are you from, Martha?" Heinrich asked finally.

"Luh-London. Sir."

"And yet you speak perfect german. Most impressive. Especially for one of savage descent."

"Thank you sir."

"Speak some the Queen's english for me now. It has been too long since I've heard it."

Unfortunately for her, she WAS speaking english! The TARDIS telepathically translated all language for it's passengers and anyone they interact with. The only reason Heinrich heard german, was because that was the language he was speaking.

Martha thought furiously.

"Well?" the ancient vampire asked. "My patience, though great, is not limitless."

Panic threatened to steal her mind, and she tried to stall for time. "Wuhwhat do you want me to say?"

A delighted expression formed on the Master's face. "Wonderful! How extraordinary! You truly can speak two languages!"

The poor woman almost collapsed with relief. The TARDIS, god bless her, must've realized she didn't want to speak german anymore!

Heinrich smiled. "How very interesting. Tell me Martha. What do you know of the body?"

She swallowed. "You mean like medicine and stuff?" Martha knew quite a bit about medicine. She just wasn't about to admit it to him. "Leaches are good for what ails you?"

He chuckled. "Actually, that's a falsehood. Leaches are terrible for you. The fact you humans keep using them is just plain funny."

Martha didn't really know how to respond to that, other than screaming and running for her life of course. But doing that would obviously end her death, making the act kinda moot. Instead, she simply settled for staring at him in fear and disgust.

"But I digress," the Master continued. "No my dear, I do not mean medicine. I am referring, specifically, to the body and it's own inherent language. Separate from spoken word, and universal in it's conveyance."

The demon leaned in close, and Martha smelled the metallic taint of blood on the breath he used to speak.

"Do you know what your body has told me Martha?" he whispered to her before pulling back. She said nothing, though the racing of her heart was telling enough.

The Master pulled back and gave her a smile that, on another face, might've been endearing, but on his, it was simply terrifying.

"Since you are reluctant to speak, why don't I explain myself." He took a deep breath. "I know that you have lied to me Martha. I don't blame you really. What creature in their right mind would cooperate with someone that's going to kill them? I wouldn't. Regardless, when you spoke what you claim is your native tongue, I saw how frightened you were. Naturally, I assumed it was because of me. But then I also saw the surprise you felt afterwards. You no more expected to speak english than I expected a Negro to know two languages."

The Master cupped her chin gently, forcing her to look in his eyes.

"Why is that, I wonder? Why were you so surprised Martha? And please. Be thorough. The longer you speak, the longer you live."

An interesting thing happened to Martha during the Master's speech. It was after the bit about cooperating with your killer that she realized something. He was, in fact, going to kill her. And do you know what? He wasn't the first being that wanted to. Not even close. She'd been in terrible situations before, and the Doctor always came through for her. No reason to believe otherwise now. Her cellphone was on, and she'd bet anything that at this very moment her friend was tracking it.

She smiled at the Master. He was right. The longer she stalled him, the longer she'd live. And if she did her job right, she'd be living another sixty to seventy years!

"You're very clever sir," Martha told him honestly. "But you wouldn't believe the truth if it came up and bit you. No pun intended."

The Master blinked at her sudden change in demeanor, and quickly reassessed the situation.

"Did you know that a vampire retains all knowledge of the life they've led?" he asked carefully, wanting to see her reaction.

Martha swallowed nervously, despite her newfound confidence. "Yes sir, I did know that."

She was telling the truth. "Then what's stopping me from making you one of us?"

He permitted a small smirk to show on his face as she shuddered at the thought.

Martha answered his question. "Because you haven't done it yet," she told him.

The Master laughed, and the sound of it almost caused the brave young woman's legs to give out.

Without warning, the demon grabbed her by the throat and nestled his cheek against hers and spoke directly into her ear. "You seem to misunderstand me, my dear," he told her sinisterly. "The reason you still live is because I wanted to know something about you. Something that would be lost in your rebirth as a vampire." Martha felt the coolness of his flesh against hers, and resisted the urge to shove him away. She stayed calm. The Doctor will save her. She just needed to stay alive long enough to let him.

"What... what would that be?" she dared to ask.

He pulled back from her in surprise. "Why isn't it obvious?" She said it wasn't, and the Master sighed. "I wanted to see you afraid. In fear, you see, a person is at his best, or worst. Afraid, a man can face his fear and flourish, or run from that terror and be shamed. And you are so afraid." The Master licked her cheek, tasting that fear in her sweat, and Martha fought back the revulsion that consumed her. "I wanted to see what you'd do."

Martha looked him directly in the eyes. "And?" she wondered.

The Master smiled. "And now I know."

With that, he pulled her head back and bit into her neck.

She screamed.

-

"Jesus!" Xander exclaimed. "We're out of time! He's draining her now!"

Willow fought back the panic those words brought her, and desperately tried to think. She pulled out her cellphone. Buffy. Buffy would know what to do.

She dialed the first three digits of Buffy's number when it hit her. Martha has a phone too! Willow called that instead.

-

The Master stopped drinking and stared at Martha, bewildered. "What in the world is that noise?" He listened closely before coming to an odd conclusion. "I think your stomach is making music."

And sure enough, "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand was emanating from around her midsection.

He looked at her. "This is very strange," the old vampire told her. The music stopped. The Master listened for a bit, then shrugged. "Oh well." He leant back in for seconds.

-

"Hit redial! REDIAL!" Xander shouted.

"I'm working on it!" Willow said testily.

-

The music resumed and the Master dropped the now weak and dizzy Martha on the ground.

"Will you stop that! It's very irritating. Not to mention disconcerting!"

She giggled deliriously. "Sorry. But I think it's for me." Martha pulled the phone out of the bigger on the inside than on the outside pocket in her dress and answered it. "Hullo," she answered dreamily.

"Martha!" Willow yelled into her phone, causing Martha to wince and pull hers away from her ear. "Ohmigod! Are you okay?"

Before Martha could reply, the Master took the phone from her and stared at it in fascination.

"Hello? Martha?" Willow's voice echoed throughout the cavern. "Are you still there?"

"Who is this?" the Master demanded cautiously, putting the phone to his ear as Martha did.

"Who's this?" Willow asked.

"I am Heinrich Joseph Nest," he responded politely.

"Uh.. Hold please." Willow covered the receiver with her hand. "It's the Master!" she hissed to Xander, who shrugged uselessly. Willow glared contemptuously at him.

"To whom am I speaking?" the Master repeated.

The redhead put the phone back to her ear. "I'm Willow."

"And how are you doing this Willow? I remind you. I am in possession of the lovely Martha. If you wish no harm to come to her, you will answer me."

Xander made his 'I got an idea!' hand gestures. "What?" She whispered.

"Tell him you're a witch!" He whispered back.

"Ooh, good idea!" And so she told him.

The Master considered this information. It was true that this appeared magical, yet he felt nothing. No familiar tingle at the base of his spine telling him of the magic's presence. He gave Martha questioning expression.

"Your friend says she's a witch. Am I to believe her?"

Martha shrugged. "Only if you don't wanna end up on fire."

"She is able to do this?"

"I saw it happen earlier today. She torched a vampire just by looking at it."

He stared at her, looking for any sign of deception. Martha stared back, confident in Willow's witchy status. The Master decided to believe it.

"Martha is your servant?"

"Yes?"

Xander glared at her. "Don't say it like a question!" he hissed.

The vampire lord frowned. This witch did not seem so certain. And there is the matter of the other voice he heard.

"Might I inquire as to who else is with you?"

Willow put her hand over the phone again. "Don't give him your real name!" she warned. "It's bad enough he got mine."

Xander nodded, and she put the phone on speaker. "I am... Uh... I am Ufgood of Nelwyn." Willow gave her best friend a disbelieving look. He shrugged. "I too am a witch. Sorcerer! I meant sorcerer."

Willow began wondering how to explain to the Doctor why his friend was dead.

The Master did not believe for one second these two fools to whom he was speaking were anything even remotely competent. Voices from nothing and burning vampires not withstanding. But it might be a good idea to humor them.

"So, mighty Ufgood of Nelwyn, and Willow the Witch. What can I do for you?"

"You could give us our friend back," Willow told him seriously. "Before I do something bad to you."

"Yeah!" Xander chimed in.

It was all he could do to not laugh aloud at the bluff.

"I see. That would truly be unfortunate. Where shall I leave her?"

"Outside the entrance to your lair."

The Master frowned. "You know where that is?"

"Oh sure," Willow said earnestly. "Witch, remember?"

The location of his lair was a protected secret. Known only to members of his Order. If this Willow was indeed aware of such things, then perhaps his followers were not so loyal after all.

"Yes, of course. I shall leave Martha upon the steps of the mausoleum."

Xander smirked. "That'd be a neat trick, what with you being in a big cave clear across town from the cemetery."

So they did know where he was. A shame. He quite liked it here.

"And are you outside my entrance waiting for her?"

Willow and Xander looked at the cave entrance. "Nope.", "Oh hell, no!" they replied simultaneously.

"We're scrying you right now. In our crystal ball. Oh yes," Xander said in what he thought was a cool and confident manner.

"We don't use crystal balls." Willow muttered under her breath.

The Master said nothing. For long minutes did Xander observe him staring at the phone, fearing the demon would smash it.

But he didn't. Instead, the Master replaced the phone to his pointed ear, and resumed his questioning.

"You are able to perform crystallomancy?"

Xander smirked. "Yes, and as a matter of fact, I'm looking at you right now."

"You're lying!"

"I can prove it," the former one-eyed adventurer said. And Xander accurately described what the Master was wearing, the positioning of everything in his lair, and in a cold voice, Martha's condition.

The old bastard couldn't believe his pointy, evil, ears. "That's impossible!" he stubbornly declared.

But Xander wasn't finished. "And in case you're thinking it's the talking thing that's letting me see you, allow me to mention the buxom, yet delightfully evil blond vampire nun you sent away for wanting to eat my friend. Before you decided to get a taste," he amended.

Martha laughed weakly, and for a second, she thought he was going to break her neck. But when that didn't happen, she gamely soldiered on. "I just realized something. That vampire that got lit up was probably one of your lot."

The Master glared at her, then left to confirm her story, taking the phone with him.

Xander grabbed Willow's phone, then put it on hold. wanting a chance to talk to her without the Master listening in. He held up a placating hand before she could protest. "Relax Will. Bat-face went off to check up on those two vamps that got away. He's not even using the thing."

Willow's eyes lit up. "He left Martha alone?" Xander nodded. "Finally!"

She concentrated real hard.

"_Martha_?"

The woman jumped as much as a person that had a least a couple of pints of blood sucked out of them could jump.

"Willow?"

"_Don't talk out loud. I'm using telepathy_."

'I gathered,' Martha thought. 'Why didn't you do it before?'

"_You weren't alone_. _Listen. I'm not sure how long we have, so I'm gonna tell you the plan._" When she was done, Willow warned that she may make contact again, and if the Master or someone else was present, she couldn't react to it. Martha said she understood, and Willow broke off the connection.

-

"We're getting closer now!" the Doctor shouted.

'Finally!' Buffy thought as they approached the edge of town. She pulled a sword and stake from nowhere, and hoped this time the Master wouldn't kill her.

-

Setesh led his troops through the streets of his town. It was small and out of the way, but it was perfect for concealing he and his followers from those that would challenge him before he was ready.

He smiled when his Jaffa located a vampire.

It took three of them, but they were able to restrain it long enough to use his ribbon device on the foul beast. It didn't take long for Setesh to learn everything he wanted.

With a flourish, he staked the demon and the Goa'uld strode regally towards the caves beyond the town's border, his slaves following obediently behind.


	4. Of Plans and Failures

The Doctor stopped so suddenly that, if Buffy wasn't a slayer, she'd have slammed into him harder than a really entertaining metaphor she couldn't exactly come up with at the moment because she was too busy doing a complicated sort of pirouette that, coupled with her stupid dark ages dress, caused her to fall on her ass, despite the slayerness.

The Doctor gave her an odd look. "What was that all about?" Buffy opened her mouth to let loose a scathing retort, but he interrupted. "Doesn't matter. Do you know why I stopped?" Buffy began to reply, but the Doctor interrupted. Again. "Rhetorical question. Of course you don't know why I stopped." He cleared his throat. "I would just like to point out that I'm really, really, really, really, _really_, brilliant, and it's not often that I'm actually flummoxed. But this?" the Doctor held up the sonic screwdriver. "This is confusing the heck out of me."

Buffy stood up and gave him a withering glare. "Isn't that _your_ doohickey?"

"Yes," he responded with a sigh, exasperated at the use of 'doohickey'. "But right now, my _sonic screwdriver _is doing something odd. Like, for example, detecting a whole slew of other energy signatures that have nothing to do with alien technology." He smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. "So. What exactly are Willow and Xander up to?"

-

"We should've waited for Buffy," Xander criticized after Willow initiated the cloaking spell. "I mean, you did say she was gonna do some slayer type distractions, right?"

They were creeping, hand in hand (because they were invisible and wouldn't know where the other one was if they didn't), down the entrance to the Master's caverns after deciding it was too risky to wait for their super-powered compatriot. Martha was hurt, and any minute now the Master was probably coming back to hurt her more. So they adapted the plan. Instead of Buffy causing the distraction and luring the vampires away from the planned escape route, Xander was going to set off a Tworlowurgruenouge firecracker he'd pocketed after seeing how nifty they were. Willow had already done her part and cast the magical equivalent of a stink bomb to mask their scent.

She gave her best friend a patient expression that he couldn't see. "When have you ever known Buffy to sit on the sidelines while other people do the rescuing? Besides, we can't risk the Master seeing her."

"I get that. But I wanna know how smelling like the bastard child of a Queller demon and milk gone bad is gonna help us," he stated testily, wondering if there were enough showers and emasculating, yet enticing, fruity body wash in the world to rid himself of this most offending odor. He really didn't think there was. Despite Willow saying that the smell would dissipate after a couple of hours.

"The stench is supposed to permeate throughout an entire enclosure," she reminded him.

Xander nodded in understanding. "Thus, hiding our tasty human smell." He gagged when a particularly strong whiff invaded his nose. "Great."

Willow, who was immune because she cast the spell, smiled brightly. This was a good plan.

-

Martha's eyes began to water. 'God, that's terrible!' the young woman thought, covering her nose.

The Master had yet to return, and she was beginning to recover a little bit of her strength. She wasn't ready for anything difficult like standing or, God forbid, walking, but she felt confident enough NOT to pass out at any moment. Progress!

Still. If Willow did contact her again, it was most likely to precede a stunning and daring rescue plan of the Doctor's, and it wouldn't do to be a total invalid when he arrived. No wait. Willow had a plan already.

Whatever.

She decided to test the waters, so to speak, and sit up under her own power. Martha lifted her head up from the cavern wall she was half leaning, half lying against. Success! Now, all she needed to do was move her arms to support her as she shifted her weight to a full on sitting up. She did, and with only a small amount of spots flicking around her head. So far, so good. Next she performed the not so simple task of actually moving said weight to that vaunted upright position. Excellent!

Martha stalled for a bit, resting. Something was off. True, she'd lost a lot of blood, but there was no reason for her to be sore, was there? Of course, she had no idea of the effects of a vampire bite. For all she knew, there was reason after all. And there was the fact she'd had little sleep in the past day or so. Being knocked unconscious didn't count! The smell wasn't helping either. And was it getting harder to breath?

Stupid smell.

She sighed and braced herself. It was time to get on her feet. This was NOT going to be fun. Martha pulled her legs underneath her chin and used them to push her back against the cave wall slightly. Slowly, groaning and heaving with exertion, Martha began to rise.

With the monumental task of getting up accomplished, she took a moment to exult in her victory over gravity, and then pushed off of the wall to stand, unsupported, on her own two feet.

Martha Jones smiled triumphantly.

That lasted for all of three seconds.

As she pitched forward, Martha could only think of one single unladylike thought, and uttered it aloud.

"Fuck!"

-

Buffy stared dumbly at the Doctor. "What do you mean?" she asked.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Oh come on. You don't really expect me to buy the whole "Dumb Blonde" routine, do you? Especially not after your seeing through my psychic paper!" He leveled a dangerous glare at her. "I'm not going to ask again. What are Willow and Xander up to?" If anything happened to Martha because of them...

The Slayer bristled and returned the glare in kind. "I. Don't. Know."

The pair of them just stood there, eyes locked in a battle of wills.

"All right then," the Doctor smiled, breaking eye contact. "What say we just give them a call and ask, hmm?" He cheerfully held up Buffy's cellphone and began dialing it.

Buffy, who was silently praising herself for making the Doctor break first, stared at him in shock. "How did...?"

"I steal this?" the Doctor finished. "Well, I don't like like to toot my own horn, but I'm just that good." He gave her a winning smile and a cheeky wink. "Actually, I LOVE tooting my own horn. _Toot!_"

-

Xander looked over his shoulder to where he couldn't see Willow.

"Did you remember to shut off your phone?" he asked in a whisper. The redheaded wicca rolled her eyes and nodded her head. After a few seconds, Xander smirked. "You do realize I can't see you nodding, right?"

Willow blushed. "I wasn't nodding. I was... just... thinking of a way... to tell you that I had shut my cellphone off."

"What, "yes" not good enough for you?" The mocking grin on his face was almost visible even through cloaking spell.

"Do you wanna be a doggie for the rest of your life?" she asked seriously.

That grin ran from his face faster than Speedy Gonzalez. "No Ma'am."

"That's right you don't."

-

The Doctor frowned when he got Willow's overly long and entirely too happy for the current situation voice mail.

"Good God! Does she ever not babble?" he wondered in a stunning bout of hypocrisy. The beep finally came, and the Doctor started his message.

"Hello. This is the Doctor, and I was wondering what, exactly, you were up to? You see, whatever it is, it's interfering with my sonic screwdriver, and making it _very_ difficult, though not impossible, to track you. Of course, by the time you actually get this message, it'll most likely be too late. Not in an ominous sense, mind you, more like an, "it's all over with" sort of way. Hmm. That still sounds a mite ominous, doesn't it? Anyway, love to stay and chitchat -love that word, "chitchat"- but I must be going. Got a friend to rescue, see you there."

The Doctor hung up the phone and gave it back to Buffy. She looked down at it, then back to the Doctor. He made an adjustment to his sonic screwdriver, then pointed it in the direction where the Master's cave was supposed to be. It emitted a frizzy and shrill sound. The Doctor frowned and made another adjustment.

"What," he asked without looking up from his work.

"You're really an alien, aren't you?" Buffy asked quietly.

"Yep."

"I guess that makes sense. I mean, nobody human can steal anything from me."

The Doctor smiled. "You're a bit conceited," he observed, making another adjustment.

Buffy narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't be coy Doctor. Like you said; you're really smart..."

"I believe I used the word "brilliant", actually."

And she was supposed to be the conceited one, Buffy thought with a smirk. "Same diff. You know about vampires, claimed they came from another world even." The Doctor paused to look at blonde woman before him. "So that means you also know about the Slayer."

"You're a slayer?" he asked in surprise. "But you're so old!"

Her eyes narrowed yet again. This time with the promise of something unpleasant to go along with it. "I'm the longest living slayer in history. I think it's because I'm really good at killing things." She said pointedly, eliciting a grin from the Gallifreyan.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer," he said, amused, before his eyes widened in sudden realization. "You're THAT slayer?"

"You've heard of me?" Buffy asked, intrigued.

The Doctor took a big breath and opened his mouth to speak. "Nope, never have. Sorry." Then he went back to work.

-

They came across a storage closet of some kind. It was full of barrels, some of whose contents Xander refused to talk about, others were filled with booze. Willow decided this was the perfect place to initiate a distraction, so Xander took out the firecracker.

He held it in his hands for a moment before coming to an unfortunate conclusion. He had no freaking idea how to turn it on! Hell, he couldn't even see it in order to push any buttons!

Willow just sighed in exasperation when he said as much to her. She took the device from his hands, and slammed it down on the ground. It became visible after leaving contact with the concealed duo.

They waited.

And waited.

But it did nothing.

She poked it with her foot. Nothing.

Xander kicked it. Still more nothing.

"To heck with it!" Willow exclaimed, pulling Xander back and sending a fireball into the closet then running like the dickens.

A few moments later, the pair was rewarded by the sound of an explosion.

They ran as fast as they could towards where Martha was imprisoned, Xander using his new eye to avoid any vampires.

-

Martha flinched from the reverberating boom that echoed throughout the caverns. She had just managed to get back on her feet when Laura, the Master's lovely assistant, came barging in and backhanded her across the face, sending her back to the floor for a third time.

"What was that?" the vampire demanded. "Tell me now."

"Or what? You'll kill me?" Martha spat some blood on the ground, then gave Laura a fantastically sarcastic expression of regret. "Sorry. I didn't mean to waste any."

Laura reached down and grabbed Martha by the throat and lifted her high enough so her feet were dangling.

She smiled. "You're a brave one, aren't you." Martha made a choking noise in response. "I suppose that's why the Master is so interested in you." Laura let go, dropping the young woman back on the ground. "Not to mention how pretty you are." She kicked the gasping Martha in the stomach. Martha felt at least one rib break. "That makes you a threat to me."

"Oh come now, dear," the Master said from the doorway. "I love all my children equally.".

Laura's demeanor quickly became subservient. "Master! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt her."

He chuckled fondly. "Yes you did." The Master turned to Martha. "Not even a member of the family yet, and still you cause such jealousy," he noted, pleased. "Wonderful! I've always encouraged a healthy dose of competition amongst my flock."

Martha wheezed and gasped as she clutched her injured ribs. The contempt at which she glared at the vampire lord would've left a lesser being with empty bowels and a dirty pair of pants. But not the leader of the Order of Aurelius. No. He merely smiled and thought of how marvelous a vampire this beautiful and unique woman will make.

The Master knelt beside Martha. "I don't have time to wait until you change to ask you this. So please, forgive the pain that's to come. Though I know for a fact that you'll appreciate it later." He grabbed a handful of Martha's hair and yanked her off the ground. Despite herself, she let out a small shriek of surprised pain, bringing a smile to Laura's gorgeous face. The Master looked Martha in the eyes, chilling her to the bone. "Please, tell me. What was that explosion, and why does it now smell so very terrible?"

Throughout all her adventures with the Doctor, regardless of how many times her life has been in jeopardy, Martha had never before regretted going with him. The chance to see the stars, new life and new civilizations, boldly going where she'd never gone before, it was all worth the risk. Worth the dangers. She got to be with him, and that made every horror, every thrill of fear... All right. The Doctor would save her at the last minute, and for a moment, she knew she meant everything to him. Of course, once the danger was over, that moment would pass, and then it's back to being Rebound Girl for her. But she'd never give it up. Not for her her mother, not for the world, not even for the whole bloody galaxy, would she have ever wanted to be anywhere but with her Doctor.

Until now.

Martha wished, while staring into the Master's terrifying yellow eyes, just for one forgivable second, that she was home. Safe in her flat and putting up with her ever arguing, always maddening, incredibly wonderful, family.

But that second passed, and she regained her resolve. "I'm not telling you shit, you evil, disgusting, ugly, old man!"

The Master admired the fire in her magnificent eyes. Truly, in her a terrible beauty would be born. But alas, he could not let such disrespect go unpunished. That, and the fact she didn't tell him what he needed to know.

He punched her in the stomach. Hard. Laura laughed musically.

Martha swung in his iron grip like a punching bag. He asked his questions again. She spat blood in his face, again apologizing for the loss of food. He grinned and used his free hand to wipe at his face, then sucked the crimson from his fingers.

"You are a singular woman Martha. I look forward to showing you the wonders of higher living." His expression was cold and sincere. "But I will deprive myself of that pleasure and kill you outright if you don't tell me what I want to hear!"

"Yes!" Laura cheered.

Martha snorted in derision. "Go ahead. At least I'll die with the intense satisfaction of knowing you didn't get what you wanted out of me."

The Master let go, and the battered woman dropped like a stone. He glared down at her. "What makes you think I'm going to fail?"

She rolled her eyes. "You won't have time, obviously. I mean seriously, did you even consider that this was all some kind of plan?" Martha shook her head. "Clearly, _I _didn't detonate any kind of bomb. Or make this wretched smell. Whatever has been planned is happening. You're going to have to kill me now if you want me dead." She smiled confidently. "But if you do kill me, I guarantee you'll regret it."

"And why is that?" the Master asked, stunned at this battered savage's gall.

"Because the Doctor will make sure of it," Martha said with absolute relish, just before Laura exploded into ash.

-

Willow and Xander entered the chamber just in time to see Martha get punched viciously in the stomach. It took all of Xander's self control to not cry out in protest. Willow contacted her telepathically, counting on her discomfort at the beating to hide any reactions. It did.

She told Martha that they were there, and that she should just hold on. Oh, and it might be nice if she could whip up a little bit of distraction so the Master and his creepy vampire nun wouldn't notice them.

Martha responded in kind by spitting blood at her tormentor and making caustic remarks about wasting dinner. Xander decided that if they managed to get Martha out of this, he'd marry her.

The invisible pair crept as silently as possible towards the vampiric duo while Martha taunted them with the truth.

Xander raised his stake, and plunged it into Laura's heart.

The Master whirled around at the sound of her destruction.

He had just a moment to gape furiously at her decomposing body before being thrown back by a magical blast.

Willow stared at the fallen Vampire Lord with a nervous expression. A piddling little spell like that won't keep a demon as mighty as him down for long. She and Xander grabbed Martha's arm and watched as she vanished from sight.

"What happened?" the injured woman asked.

"Less talking, more escaping," Xander said tersely, offering no further words of explanation for fear of being overheard.

Fortunately, Willow had other avenues of communication available to her, and brought Martha up to speed telepathically.

They were almost to the cave's entrance, when Martha remembered something awful.

"I forgot my bloody cellphone!" she whispered through gritted teeth.

"So?" Xander whispered back.

"So we need to get it back! We can't let that... that thing keep a cellphone! Retrieving future tech is why we're here in the first place, remember?"

They stopped.

Willow uttered a tiny moan of despair. "She's right."

With that decided, the group turned around and sought out the Master.

-

Setesh laughed as another victim fell before the might of his Jaffa. The fool stood in their way. With a careless gesture did he order the man's demise.

The Goa'uld nodded approvingly. Such is the whims of a God to deliver death and silence those that would oppose Him.

Little did the parasite know that his every action was being watched and cataloged by a certain slayer. She and the Doctor came across him and quickly realized that Setesh was headed towards the caves as well. The pair decided to follow behind the narcissistic alien, hoping to use him as a distraction of some sort when they all reached their destination.

"Evil little bastard, isn't he?" the Doctor noted. "Of course, I don't have to tell you, what with your knuckles going that dangerous shade white."

Buffy said nothing as she watched Setesh march away, confident in his superiority.

The duo followed, silent as the grave.

The Doctor had caught sight of the avenging expression on Buffy's face. "I hate to have to say this, really I do, but..." He grimaced, thinking of the reaction his statement was sure to receive. "We can't touch him."

"You mean his forcefield, right?" Buffy asked, looking for clarification. The idea that this murderous thing wasn't on the menu didn't even register with her.

"Ah, no."

"Then what?"

"Well..." the Doctor hedged. "You see. It's like this. He dies."

Buffy nodded. "That's because I'm gonna kill him."

The Doctor scratched his head, looking uncomfortable. "Yeah, no. Sorry. In 1999, a government agency that specialized in this sort of thing will do the honors, not you."

The slayer leveled an awesome glare at her companion.

"Oh don't give me that look," the Doctor said, annoyed. "It's hardly my fault he survives to the twentieth century."

Her expression became defiant. "He'll never make it," she promised.

The Doctor locked eyes with Buffy. "Don't. Don't make me protect that monster, please," he asked of her. "If I have to, I will stop you. And I don't want to do that. You're one of the good ones Buffy. Please don't make us enemies."

In his eyes, Buffy saw an old soul full of a grief and sorrow and pain that surpassed even Angel's. Yet hidden behind the angst was a ferocity the likes of which she'd never seen. And the slayer knew if that ire was turned her way, she'd loose. Bad.

She nodded her head, and the Doctor smiled in relief.

"Well! Glad that's settled. What say we make our way back to our friends, hmm?"

"Lead on MacDuff." And the pair continued on their way.

"You were wrong you know," Buffy told him after a few moments.

"About what?"

"It _is_ your fault he survives."

The Doctor considered her words. "I suppose so," he conceded. "But one might counter that stopping you from killing Setesh saves the future and all of Time and Space."

Up ahead, they heard another man cry out in agony then suddenly stop.

"Tell it to that guy," Buffy said cooly.

And the grief and sorrow and pain in the Doctor's old soul grew that much more unbearable.


	5. In the Cave, They Fell

"Well this is just stupid," Xander muttered right before stopping.

"What's the hold up," Willow demanded impatiently. She wanted to get to the Master, get that darned cellphone, then get the heck out of this time period as soon as possible.

Xander let go of Willow's hand, revealing himself and Martha, whom he was supporting. The woman could barely stand _with_ his help. They couldn't just take her back to face a demon as powerful as the Master! He pointed this out to his best friend.

Willow deflated. She didn't think of that. Why didn't she think of that? What did that say about her? God! She was so inconsiderate!

The young redhead apologized profusely to Martha.

"Don't. You don't have to do that," she said to Willow's disembodied voice. "And you don't have to hold me up either, Xander!" Martha shrugged herself out of his arms and straightened herself out. She staggered and almost slammed into the wall. She would've too if Xander hadn't grabbed her. Martha swore.

"It's okay, Martha," Xander reassured. "Me and Willow can handle it by ourselves." He smiled his most really reassuring smile. "We do stuff like this all the time. Remind us to tell you about our fight with the Oni."

WIllow retook Xander's hand and, under the cover of invisibility, lead them from the caverns of the Master.

-

Buffy hadn't said a word since their little disagreement, the Doctor noted as they headed towards the Master's lair. He wasn't sure if he was pleased by that or not.

He considered the woman he was with.

Not, it was decided. Most definitely not.

A woman of Buffy's considerable skill and spirit was absolutely someone he didn't want angry with him. Of course, it wasn't like he wanted anyone to be angry with him. And why should they be anyway? He was charming, wasn't he? Also brilliant, humble, modest, unspeakably clever, almost criminally witty, handsome... The list went on and on, really.

Buffy should be happy to have a guy like him on her side! It wasn't his fault that he had to protect the Timeline! Like he wanted to let that murderous snake get away! He's taken down Goa'ulds before, after all! And did it very thoroughly and finally too. It's just that history records the Americans doing the deed in the late 1990s. If he lets Buffy defeat Setesh now, that'll just create a paradox which would threaten to rip a hole in all of Time and Space!

Y'know. It just might behoove him to actually explain all that to the irate Slayer.

He beamed internally at his brilliance. He'd have done it externally, but that was just asking for trouble. One doesn't beam at a woman that's cross with you. A hard learned lesson learned from his 900 years of life. He chuckled. Morgan le Fay had one heck of a left hook!

"What's so damned funny," Buffy asked dangerously.

Mind you, slayers probably have a better one. So much for treading carefully.

"Listen, about Setesh," he began. Buffy didn't reply, but gave the Gallifrian her attention. "You know _when_ he dies because I told you. What you don't know is why it's important he lives until then."

Buffy sighed in exasperation. "If he dies now, it'll create some kind of space/time pair-a-dock, right?"

The Doctor smiled, amused. "Very good. But it's paradox. Not pair-a-dock."

"Whatever," Buffy dismissed. "I get it. What's supposed to happen, has to happen. The point is: I've heard of the dox thing before."

"Impressive. Where?" the Doctor wondered.

"I think it was on Star Trek."

He chuckled. "I bow to your expertise."

-

Setesh and his Jaffa stood triumphantly before the entrance of the caves hiding the vampires. What a fool their leader was. This... "Master" assumed much, calling itself by so conceited a title.

The Goa'uld anticipated the coming encounter with excitement. Though presumptuous, the so called "Master" did indeed command a formidable amount of soldiers. Or so his sources claimed.

It was, he supposed, possible this information was incorrect. There could be more than expected. But, should the need arise, it was highly unlikely that any vampire could withstand the awesome energies from a staff weapon.

The grin on his face was smug as he ordered his Jaffa to advance.

-

"Oh God," Buffy exclaimed. She and the Doctor were behind a very large shrub, about twenty meters away from the cave entrance. "They're storming the place!"

The Doctor pulled out a pair of binoculars and peered over their cover. "So they are. Good luck for us, eh?"

She gave him an incredulous look. "Our friends our in there! How is that good luck?"

"You're not one for silver linings, are you," the Doctor asked distastefully. Buffy made for the cave instead of replying. "Oh come on! This is exactly what we need."

Buffy paused, her expression dubious. "How?"

"We were looking for a distraction, right? Can you think of a better one?" When she didn't respond, the Doctor grinned. "Yeah, I thought not. As for our friends..."

With a flick of the sonic screwdriver, Willow, Martha, and Xander all appeared out of thin air.

"It can teleport people?" the blonde questioned, astounded.

Willow frowned. "What?"

Xander blinked. "Huh?"

Martha rolled her eyes. "We didn't teleport. The Doctor just used the sonics to negate the cloaking spell." She smiled at her friend. "Right, Doctor?"

The sight of her injuries ignited a cold fury within him, but the Doctor hid it. Instead displaying only his pleasure at seeing Martha alive. Not to mention a little pride at her very correct explanation.

"Absolutely, Martha Jones. You're becoming quite the little expert."

She blushed at his praise.

"No teleporting?" Buffy asked, a little put out.

Willow smiled at the slayer. "Sorry."

"As fun as the banter is," Xander spoke up. "We should probably..."

The Doctor interrupted. "... Get Martha back to the TARDIS. I completely agree. Let's go." He started heading back.

"Wait," Martha called out. "I left my mobile back with the Master!"

The Gallifrein sighed. It was always something.

"All right. Here's what we're going to do." He pointed to Buffy and Xander. "You two get Martha back to the TARDIS. Willow and I will retrieve Martha's mobile." The Doctor snickered. "Martha's mobile. I love alliteration."

Buffy shook her head. "I'm going with you."

"No, you're going to the TARDIS."

"Like hell!"

"Listen, Buffy. You cannot be seen by the Master. If you are, he might remember you in the future, take the appropriate precautions, and then kill you. Thus, changing history and creating a hole in the universe the size of..." He thought for a moment. "Well, actually, about the size of Belgium. Which isn't all that large, cosmically speaking, but the entire Earth would be sucked into it and what comes out the other side is just rock. And dust. And powder."

There, the Doctor thought triumphantly. There was absolutely no way ANYONE could argue with such a logical explanation as that!

"He did kill me."

Oh that's just not fair. Maybe he heard her wrong. "I'm sorry. What was that?"

"It's true," Willow chimed in.

Xander nodded. "Yep. The Master drowned her. I brought her back with a little mouth-to-mouth."

"Oh." The Doctor coughed. "Well that's... Did he mention anything to you about how he knew you were a slayer?"

Buffy shook her head. "Not that I remember. He just sort of knew."

"So he didn't say he remembered you from when you traveled back in time and fought him for a mobile phone, then?"

The slayer frowned. That was really, really unlikely, wasn't it? Yeah...

"Right. You're not going. Willow, come with me." And without another word, the Doctor walked around the shrub, expecting to be followed.

Nobody moved. Though Martha did wheeze a little.

He walked back into view. Buffy glared at him. "Well it was worth a shot," the Doctor defended with a shrug. "All right, Buffy. You can come with."

Buffy smirked at getting her way, Willow looked relieved at not having to face the Master again, and Xander was getting awfully tired of holding Martha up. Martha was getting awfully tired. Period.

The Doctor stared Buffy in the eyes. His gaze was unsettling in it's intensity. Even for her. It was like staring into an abyss that could swallow you whole, leaving you in darkness and forgotten for all time.

Buffy cringed, but resisted the urge to look away.

"I need you to promise me, Buffy," the Doctor began solemnly. "I need you to promise me you will do exactly as I say in there." She began to protest, but the Doctor interrupted. "If that's a problem, then you can just go with Xander and Martha back to the TARDIS."

"I've been fighting vampires since I was fifteen. I know how to handle myself," Buffy said defensively. She knew how to do her job. She's the longest living Slayer in the Council's history, thank you very much.

The Doctor nodded. "Fifteen? Well that's different. I'd say you're about twenty-seven now, right?" Buffy was. "So you've been slaying for twelve whole years. That's...well, that's impressive. I really, sincerely, mean it. I know how short lived slayers are." The scoobies all smiled a little smugly. "But it doesn't matter. None of it. All that death, and trauma, and horror you've endured? Worthless compared to what I've lived through. And what I've learned because of it."

"Why are saying that?" Willow asked, hurt that he could say such mean things after he'd been so sweet and nice to them.

"Because it's true, Willow," he replied bluntly.

Buffy stalked forwards and got right in the Doctor's face. "How dare you," she demanded. "How dare you say that to us. You have no idea what we've been through. Who we've lost."

"It's a funny word, lost." The Doctor placed his hands in his pockets and circled Buffy. "Did you know it originated from the Old English word, _losian_? Not a nice Old English word. It literally meant "perish," or "destroy". Could also mean become unable to find."

Buffy watched as he rotated, her eyes never leaving his. They were filled with such coldness, alien in their depth and inscrutability. A Slayer's life depends on her ability to read opponents, and she could divine nothing from those empty, terrifying orbs. Buffy was afraid. Needless to say, she didn't show it.

He stopped walking. "You've lost family, friends, maybe more, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that you've suffered. But can you imagine, Slayer, having your entire world be lost?"

Nobody said anything, but Martha wanted desperately to be strong enough to go to him.

The Doctor nodded at their surprise. "That's right. My world. My civilization." He stared Buffy square in the face. "My family. Lost."

It was almost too much to believe, but all the coldness in his eyes was replaced by the saddest, most haunted expression Buffy had ever seen. She'd only seen pain like that once before. When they first met, he reminded her of Angel. Now though, she was reminded of someone else.

"Huh-how?" she asked, not wanting to, fearing she knew the answer. For you see, the only time she'd seen something that could possibly compare to the look in his eyes was the summer after Acathla. After she'd killed her love, her world, to save everyone.

"I lost them. In every sense of the word. I destroyed my planet. Burned it from existence. My people perished in the blaze. And afterwards, I made it so they never existed, unable to be found by any time traveller. Myself included. The only home I have left is the TARDIS."

"Why?" Willow asked in a hushed, horrified, tone.

He was about to answer, but Buffy spoke up before he could.

"To save us," she said in awful understanding. "You did it to save us. Everybody."

In his mind's eye, he could see them. He could hear they're terrible shrieking voice as they tore across the once idyllic Gallifrey. "Picture the worst possible evil you have ever met, then multiply that by a thousand, and you'll get a small idea of what my people faced."

"Daleks," Martha whispered, shuddering.

The Doctor's attention focused squarely on Buffy. "Will you do as I say?" he asked quietly. She nodded, and he smiled in response. Only those that knew him, or suffered as he did, could see through it.

"Excellent! Then allons-y! "

-

The Master fumed at the way his day was going. First his beautiful Laura is destroyed, then the savage, Martha, literally disappears before his very eyes!

Willow and Ufgood of Nelwyn are behind this. They must be! It is also logical to assume that they are behind the foul odor that is permeating throughout his stronghold as well. He will peel the skin from of their bodies as his family pours wines and spirits all over them. Yes, that should do it.

That happy event would have to come later. Now, he wonders what he'll do to the idiot who barged into his home and started barking orders in that annoyingly distorted voice. He'd heard of Setesh, of course. One as powerful as he should keep up with whatever players appear in town.

This one claimed Godhood for himself. The centuries old demons grinned, despite his bad temper. It was always fun to show "gods" the error of their arrogance.

The Master observed the Jaffa that surrounded he and his family, their staffs lowered and aimed in their direction. He'd heard of these weapons that fired magic at their enemies. If the sight of so many pointed at him unnerved the vampire lord, he didn't show it.

Setesh glared at him. "Well?" he demanded. "What have you to say to our proposal?"

"Please allow me a moment to see if I understand it properly." The Master clasped his hands behind his back and began to pace slightly. "You want me to send my subordinates out to hunt down the ones who attacked you?"

"Yes."

"And why, pray tell, can you not do this yourself?"

"We can!" the Goa'uld snarled. "There is nothing that is not within our divine power!"

The Master stopped pacing and gestured to the vampires behind him. "Then what need have you of my people?"

"My power is unlimited, but my patience is not."

"Is that a threat?"

Setesh smirked. "Do not fear, vampire. It is merely the reason why we are here. I would see my enemies -our enemies- smitten sooner rather than later. Your forces would aid in that goal."

The Master was about to reply when a voice spoke out from the entrance.

"Oh, don't worry, your Lordship, I'm absolutely smitten. It's hard not to be when you've met some of the most remarkable women in history," the Doctor said, walking in the room, Buffy right behind him.

Her eyes locked on to the horrible form of the Master. He looked the same! It's hundreds of years in the past and he looks the same! He even still has fruit punch mouth! Buffy was surprised at how little effect he had on her. Obviously he was still oh so fugly, but the terror and fear he used to inspire in her were gone. Neat.

The Doctor went on. "I mean, seriously, have you ever met Lisa Gherardini? Beautiful. Simply gorgeous! The Mona Lisa absolutely doesn't do her justice! Leo did his best, but it's insanely impossible to capture a perfect likeness of an Aphrodite. Well, she wasn't a full one, but still!"

"Now who the hell are you?" the Master demanded, annoyed by this intruder's very existence.

"I'm sorry, that was me being rude again." He turned to Buffy. "I do that sometimes. Have ever since I can remember looking like this." He turned back to the assembled villains to answer, but was interrupted by Setesh ordering his Jaffa to open fire on the ones who humiliated him so.

The Doctor raised his hands and shouted his surrender, asking Setesh to hold his fire. Buffy stared at him in shock.

"You have got to be kidding me!"

"Absolutely not! I certainly can't dodge..." he glanced at the Jaffa. "8, 9, 10, 11, 12... -12? Well isn't that overkill? Right! I can't dodge that many staff blasts." His eyes locked with hers in warning. "And you can't either, right?"

Buffy pouted. "Fine."

The Master quirked an eyebrow. "Am I to surmise these are the enemies you spoke of, Setesh?"

"Yes, vampire, you are." The Goa'uld stared at the Doctor. Then he turned his attentions on Buffy, his eyes roaming up and down her body. His expression made her want to shower. After stabbing him in the face with a big, phallic-y, sword.

Setesh chuckled arrogantly. "I don't blame you for surrendering, mortals. It is only right to stand before your Lord and ask His mercy."

Buffy rolled her eyes.

The Master peered at his latest uninvited guests. "I find it odd for these two to be here, Setesh. Indeed, were I them, I would be heading as far away as possible. It seems to me that this is an extraordinarily foolish thing to do, surrendering to us."

"They fear me. It is only logical they would see the foolishness of running, knowing I would find them."

"Oh yes," the Doctor agreed blithely, walking between the Master and Setesh. "Clearly we're here in the hopes of appealing to said mercy."

Buffy snorted, then defiantly looked the Master in the eye when he noticed.

"I would not be so hasty to assume your victory," the vampire told Setesh. "These two are not afraid."

Setesh sneered. "Of course not. I am omnipotent! Do not speak to me as though I am a fool again, demon."

The Master raised an eyebrow at him. "Very well."

"What are you really doing here?" Setesh demanded of the Doctor and Buffy.

The Doctor shrugged. "Nothing important, really. I just wanted to ask something."

The Goa'uld stroked his chin thoughtfully. Why not? It's not like these mortals will live much longer.

"You may ask."

"Oh, this is awkward. Yeah, the question's not for you, sorry." He turned his back on Setesh and faced the Master. Who, incidentally, was now sporting an extremely amused grin on his face.

"What can I do for you, my fellow?"

"How dare you?" Setesh demanded before the Doctor could speak, his two-tone voice quivering with insult.

"Excuse me one moment, would you?" The Master nodded amicably and the Doctor turned back around. "I'm done talking with you, so shut up!"

Buffy smirked. Funny, but getting the guy with all the alien weapons might not be the best idea ever. Everybody's attention was focused on the Doctor, she realized.

Slowly, the Slayer moved into a position to cover him should he need it.

"Jaffa, kill him!" Setesh ordered.

Which, apparently, was now. Buffy sprang into action, but she wasn't going to make it. There was no way in hell she could stop them before they shot her ride back to the future. She was gonna be stuck in Past-Germany for the rest of her life!

The Jaffa took aim.

-

Willow, Xander, and Martha finally arrived back at the TARDIS. Martha let them in and the two Scoobies immediately brought the injured woman to the infirmary.

Xander was waiting outside as Martha talked Willow through patching her up with the TARDIS's alien tech. It had been more than a few minutes, and he was getting antsy. The temptation to explore an actual spaceship was almost more than his inner sci-fi geek could handle! Yeah, he got a tour, but that just isn't the same!

Martha was going to be fine, he thought assuredly. And besides, when would he ever get this chance again?

He decided just to take a quick peek down the hall. What harm could that cause?

Xander headed down that hall and stopped at the first door he saw.

He opened that door and peered in. It was a bedroom. A woman's bedroom. Was it Martha's? Xander entered the room and took a look around. The first thing he noticed were some pictures stuck to the vanity mirror. He went over to them.

They depicted a very young, very pretty, blonde woman. Some of them were with the Doctor, but the rest featured her with a bunch of guys he didn't recognize. Some of the most prominent were of this older man with big ears, in a leather jacket. Others showed her hugging a black guy, or laughing with some really good looking dude that had annoyingly perfect teeth.

A lot of them were taken in the TARDIS, others looked like they were taken on Earth. Some didn't. There were pictures of all kinds of alien locations, strange buildings, and amazing, fantastic, utterly weird, creatures. The only constant in any of them was the absolutely happy expression the woman's face. She looked like she was having the time of her life.

Xander tore his eyes away from the pictures and investigated the rest of the room. There was clothes on the bed, on the floor, and the closet was left open with a bunch of clothes still in it. The desk had an unfinished letter on it and a picture of someone that could only be the blonde woman's mother.

He read what there was of the letter. The woman was writing to her mother about some adventure she and the Doctor just had. The tone of it only confirmed his suspicions. This girl was absolutely thrilled with her life. She described deadly and terrifying experiences as exciting and amazing. Xander smiled. Which probably scared her poor mother to no end.

All in all, the room had a very lived in look. From the scattered mess of make-up on the vanity desk, to the magazines haphazardly tossed everywhere.

But something wasn't right.

If being best friends with Buffy, and living with Willow, has taught him anything, it's that a woman's room smells. It smells like her perfume, or hairspray, or shampoo, or, y'know, just generally girly. The air in this room smelled clean, processed.

Which means no one has lived in here for a long time.

What happened to her, he wondered. Did she go home? Xander frowned when he noticed something else. Laying in front of the bed was a backpack and two suitcases. She wouldn't have left without that. Not unless she had no choice.

Having an answer, of a sort, Xander took one last look at the happy woman in the photos, then went to check up on the girls.

-

The vampires moved quicker than Setesh and his minions could follow. Their preternatural speed and agility, surprising the sluggish, nish'ta controlled Jaffa. Half of them were dead before Setesh had even a chance to react.

"What is this?" he demanded furiously.

The Master chuckled. "Why, my dear Lord, this is me rescinding the hospitality I so graciously extended to you and your servants."

Buffy barely controlled her impulse to slay. The sight of so many vampires feeding and killing was almost too much for her to ignore. She looked to her companion.

The Doctor, too, watched the slaughter before him, horrified. It was what he wanted, the vampires and the Jaffa fighting each other. But not like this.

"You didn't have to do that," he yelled to the Master. "They're being mind controlled! They never stood a chance against your soldiers!"

One of the vampire laughed. "That's why it was so fun," he told the Time Lord.

That laughter stopped as red energy exploded across the cavern, sending vampires and corpses slamming into the walls and ceiling.

The Doctor barely managed to jump out of way, saving himself from the injuries that were now visited upon the demons.

"You will pay for this insult," Setesh swore with a quiet rage. "I will make sure you die, vampire!"

The Master rolled his eyes. "Oh please, Setesh. We both know that I'll never allow you to leave here alive."

Buffy was torn. On one hand, she desperately wanted the vile Goa'uld deader than all kinds of dead. On the other hand, that would imply she was rooting for the Master.

Ew. So much ew that it's a sin.

She sighed. Besides, her ticket home said the obnoxious bastard has to stay alive.

Great, now she'll have to fight the Master again.

Sighing once more, Buffy got in front of her once and future foe. He regarded her with a sort of disdainful amusement.

"And what can I do for you?"

"I really, really, don't want to do this," she told him. "But if I don't, then it's time for Belgium sized holes. And I honestly don't think that, despite your horrible evilness, you want that. So why don't you just give me the cellphone and save me from doing stuff I don't really, really wanna do."

The Master laughed at her. "You're insane, woman."

She nodded, having a feeling it was gonna go down like this. Then she punched him in the gut. Without giving the centuries old warrior a second to react, Buffy followed her blow with a fierce uppercut.

He fell, stunned beyond his wildest expectations. Truly, he has not felt such a hit in many, many years. Not since... the Master's eyes widened in realization. Not since the last time he'd battled a Slayer!

Buffy was on him before he could move on this new understanding, leveling punch, after punch on the monster. But the Master was not one for taking such punishment, and he used his terrific strength to kick the Slayer off of him.

She landed roughly, the back of her head bouncing off the hard cavern floor.

The Master loomed over her, and Buffy thought how stupid it was that this guy could kill her twice.

-

"I will give you just one chance, Setesh. One chance to end this peacefully."

The Goa'uld laughed in his two-toned voice, then gave his answer in the form of another blast of red, livid energy.

The Doctor was ready for this, having faced Goa'ulds the past, and raised his sonic screwdriver. Subtle blue waves of sound, almost invisible, emanated from it, creating a wall of sorts, protecting him from the attack.

Setesh stared at the Doctor in shock before snarling and redoubling his efforts. Even more energy flew from his hand device. The powerful red glow it generated mixed with the gentle blue light of the sonic screwdriver, giving the cavern a distinctly purple hue.

"Oh that's quite nice," the Doctor commented casually as he stalked closer to his enemy. "Perfect for you, eh? The Royal Colour?"

"Stuh-stay back!" Setesh commanded, shakily. Nothing in his long life has ever prepared him for a being such as this! Who was this Doctor, that so effortlessly deflects his weaponry?

Wordlessly, the Doctor continued his advance. Setesh lost more and more ground, until finally, he was backed against the wall. Yet still the Doctor approached, growing closer, and closer, until...

He could feel it running up his arm, the buildup. Causing his whole body to tremble with violent waves of energy. And before he could do anything about it, he heard the cracking sound.

Setesh, the Goa'uld that had once ruled over the deserts of Egypt as their god, screamed in agony as the full backlash of the broken weapon, used to dominate so many to his will, lacerated his body. With the ribbon device gone, there was nothing for the sonics to effect. And so he collapsed, staring up at his enemy with more than just a little fear.

The Doctor crouched next to Setesh so they'd be face to face. He stared at the terrified ruler in the eye and spoke.

"Congratulations. You get to live."

He stared in confusion as the Time Lord stood up and walked away.

For a brief moment, Setesh considered attacking, but then he saw that his Jaffa were all dead, their staff weapons in the hands of vampires. They were all staring at the spectacle of the Master fighting with the blonde whore. He would never have as good an opportunity for escape as this.

A Goa'uld is proud, but that pride will only last until it's life is in jeopardy.

He ran out of the cave as fast as he could.

-

The Master looked down upon the dazed form of this new Slayer. He reached down for her, but was distracted when Setesh's hand device exploded.

Buffy took advantage of that and drove her palm into his chin. He staggered backwards and Buffy rolled out from under him, getting to her feet.

He stared at her, taking in her fighting stance. It was one he didn't recognize. One that he couldn't predict. This was not a fight he was prepared for. Though he did have the advantage, he surmised as he saw his family aim the stolen staff weapons at the Slayer.

"Y'know, I never did get the chance to ask you that question," the Doctor said cheerily, walking up to the Master.

Buffy blinked. What's he playing at? Death by Master?

She was about to rush forwards and shove him out of harm's way, but the Master acted before she could.

He laughed, a great big, booming, evil laugh, The Doctor used the Master's merriment to surreptitiously signal Buffy to wait.

"I like you, Watcher. I am correct in assuming you are indeed her Watcher?"

The Doctor nodded. "Oh yes, that's me. I like to watch." He paused when he realized how that sounded, but continued on blithely. "So anyway, about that question?"

The Master saw that Setesh had gone, and knew this Watcher was the cause somehow. It would not do to underestimate this duo. His Slayer has already lasted far longer than the last one he killed. Still, the Master considered. They did humiliate that intolerable Setesh, which caused him no end of amusement. Why not be merciful and allow one question?

He gestured for the Doctor to begin.

"Wonderful! I was wondering if you've ever heard of a Jelagnon fish?"

"What?"

"Fascinating creatures, Jelagnons. Did you know they can generate ultra violent light, much like a sun? They need that ability because on the bottom of the ocean, there are predators that are blinded by such light." He reached into his pocket. "Of course, it's a defense mechanism," He pulled out his screwdriver. "But as I don't actually have one, I'll just have to make do with this."

The Doctor twisted the screwdriver, causing it to emit a very, very high pitched noise. All the vampires, the Master included, covered their ears in surprised pain. Buffy, with her slayer hearing, wasn't fairing much better. She put on the earplugs the Doctor had given her just before they headed in, and searched the pockets of the debilitated Master for Martha's cellphone. She gave a little shudder as she felt around. This is totally way creepy. But it was worth it. After a few moments, the Slayer pulled out the item she was looking for and placed it in her pockets.

With that done, Buffy made to leave, but stopped when she noticed the Doctor begin to gather staff weapons. He indicated for her to assist him. She considered the vampires warily, but they made no effort to stop him. Apparently they were in too much pain. She really needs to get one of those screwdriver things!

With the staff weapons in hand, Buffy and the Doctor made their exit. Once they reached the cave entrance, the Doctor turned around and fired one of the weapons at the cave, effectively burying the Master and his minions inside.

He set down the weapons and turned off the screwdriver.

"Brilliant!" he enthused. "Absolutely, positively, brilliant! Good for you, Buffy!"

She blushed under his praise. "All I did was ask if your sonic thing could emit a noise that would keep the vamps from hearing us."

The Doctor picked the staff weapons back up and they headed back to the TARDIS.

"Yes, but that got me thinking about vampires and their preternatural hearing, and of how the gregondala beasts of Platuuna Seven's heads explode at the right vibrational frequency."

"You thought the vampires' heads were gonna explode?"

"No! I just thought a similar frequency might give us the right distraction to make our getaway."

Buffy considered that. "What would've happened if you were wrong?"

The Doctor shrugged, smiling cheekily at her.

"Forget I asked."

They made it back to the time machine with little incident. Along the way Buffy inquired as to how the Doctor was able to defeat Setesh. When he told her it was by using the screwdriver to reverse the polarity of the hand device's energy flow , she asked him if he felt it was a little unfair, using that thing all the time. Not that she's complaining, but it seems awfully convenient how the sonic screwdriver could do just about anything.

He gave the Slayer another cheeky grin, and asked why else would he carry one.


End file.
